I [24f] jumped on a good deal on my dream car. My boyfriend [29m] is upset that I bought it without warning

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I am 24, a software engineer, and I've always been a big fan of cars. Always reading car magazines as a kid, watching top gear and stuff like that, super excited to learn to drive as a teen. But until now, the only car I've owned is a beat up 12 year old sedan that I bought for $1700. It was real beat up, had doors whose paint didn't match the rest of the car, a dented in bumper, the works. So, for a while, I'd been putting money away in a new car fund. I wanted to have enough money to buy in full, and I got 17000 saved up.

I kept talking about the car I wanted, to my boyfriend, to all my friends, etc. A little convertible that's been one of my dream cars since I was a kid. And just this Christmas, when I was off visiting my parents, I saw a private-party listing for the car I wanted at a very good price. I went to check it out, had a mechanic look at it and everything. It was 3 years old but was like new, in great condition, at a great price. So I jumped on it and bought it on the spot for $15000. I posted a picture on Instagram of my old and new cars side by side, the old beat up sedan and the new cute convertible. Captioned it "Bittersweet saying bye to my first car... But my new one is so sweet!"

And my boyfriend called me up, really surprised Id gotten a new car. I told him that I'd been talking about getting this car for so long, I'd done a lot of research into it, he knew I'd been saving up, and waiting till I saw a good deal to jump on. And he kept saying that he didn't think I'd actually ever buy it. And saying this was a big decision to make without telling him. Like, we were talking about moving in together, were talking about getting engaged, and to drop $15000 in a day is something that should absolutely be talked about. I kept saying “But I did tell you, I told you I was putting money away for this car, and watching listings till I found a good price”

And it turned out that despite all that, he hadn’t believed I’d actually go through with buying a car… Because of a couple things I’ve also been very excited about that I didn’t end up doing.

I was really excited about traveling with my family, I did loads of research into planning a vacation, but plans fell through due to my mom’s health, and how much spending my parents were doing on medical stuff. The vacation just wasn’t in their budget anymore.

I was super interested in buying a dog, did lots of research into dogs, talking to people who had dogs, and ultimately decided that with my life style, I couldn’t take care of a dog properly. My apartment was too small, I travel too often, I’m not at home enough, etc. And I didn’t want to get a pet that I couldn’t properly care for.

I was really excited about a big project at work, that I was going to lead, along with another of my coworkers. I did a lot of prep-work for it, But due to legal red tape, out of our control, that project is being delayed indefinitely.

I had wanted to do some sort of a great American road trip, with all the time I’d saved up to take off work. But my old car was having worse and worse issues, coming up to this trip, so I decided to spend my time off with my parents instead, and shelve the road-trip idea till I had a more reliable car.

So, my boyfriend said that it seemed like everything i talk on and on about, plan out, research, say I’m doing, etc… Falls through, or I don’t end up making it happen. So he hadn’t believed I’d ever actually see something through to the end. He mentioned all that stuff I listed above as examples of how I don’t see stuff through. I was kinda hurt by that. Each of those things either fell through due to stuff out of my control, or I had a good reason to not go through with them.

From his point of view, something went from being “one of my pipe dreams” to a reality with no warning. And he’s annoyed I didn’t communicate I was actually going to drop thousands on a car.

From my point of view, I had always been planning on buying this car, I’d been saving, I’d been visiting dealerships and checking out Craigslist listings quite seriously. I’d been telling him, and telling other people what my next car was gonna be. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise.

I guess I need some advice, and an impartial opinion. Because even now, we’re not seeing eye to eye. He feels blindsided, and I feel hurt that he hadn’t been taking me seriously up till now.

EDIT - A lot of comments seem to be assuming I bought a new car, IDK why.... To clarify, I bought my car pre-owned, it is a 2015 Mazda Miata and I saved quite a lot by buying used.

TLDR - I dropped a lot of money on a car. My boyfriend fells blindsided, but I feel like he should have taken me more seriously when I told him I was planning on buying the car.

Submitted December 30, 2018 at 09:55AM by CarelessPainting http://bit.ly/2BYKihR