My [22F] boyfriend [24M] of about a year has been sexting other women on multiple apps. We’re about to move in together.

My boyfriend and I have been planning to get our own apartment together for months. (A little context: I’d be moving to his city, an hour away from home. This’ll be my first time living away from home.) We just signed the lease a week ago.

He has been perfect: kind, loving, generous, hilarious, gorgeous... nearly everyone in my life, from my family to my coworkers, has met him and everyone has been so happy for me. Some days I’m this close to pinching myself to see if I’m dreaming.

Of the two of us, I’m usually the last one to fall asleep. Well, tonight I was reaching for the phone charger to plug my phone in— I took his off the hook since it was fully charged, and then I noticed something strange. There was a notification from Whisper. I’d used that app when I was single, so I was hit by a pang of fear.

After debating it for several minutes, I just couldn’t shake an icky feeling. I opened his phone and I found Whisper, Kik, and WhatsApp hidden in a folder.

And there it was: dozens of dirty messages to other women. The most recent one being a couple days ago.

One of his posts was along the lines of: “I find it thrilling talking to women online, even though I get laid all the time”.

I couldn’t help it: after seeing all that, I went into his texts, and I found just one conversation with a woman (pushing 50 years old), but what I read shook me from the inside out. He’s been talking to her infrequently over the course of the year. He’s called her “babe” and they’ve traded pics. It sounds like she might be from his hometown, or in that area. He’s going home to visit his parents for a week or two next month (he’s a student)— is he going to meet up with her or something? Should I be worried about getting some kind of holly jolly STD for a belated Christmas gift this year? His calling her “babe” really freaking shakes me, too.

I’ve never questioned our sex life until now. We normally wind up having sex three times a day. I guess I never had any reason to wonder if I was keeping him satisfied. Not to be crass, but I have a really high libido and he does too. Match made in heaven, right?

I’m devastated. I don’t know what— if anything— to do. I still hope I’m having some crazy sleep-deprived nightmare. Do I pretend I never saw it? Do I find a way to make myself believe it was a nightmare? I don’t know.

We signed the lease last week. We’ve been planning the move for months and months. It’s only two months away now.

I’ve been crying uncontrollably all night. Every now and then he’s asked me what’s wrong and hugs me and I don’t know what to say or do!

Obviously, it was way wrong of me to go into his phone. I’m ashamed I did it, but what I found has shattered my heart. Do I say in the morning, “By the way, I went into your phone! This is what I found!”?

It seems like the dirty messages— even with the 50something woman— occur in short bursts, spread out months apart. Even so, what the heck?

I love him so much, but my heart feels numb right now. I’m shattered. This is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with! Just hours ago, I was set to fall asleep in the arms of the man I love, feeling so safe and so happy; now I’m sobbing and I’ve never felt so alone in my life.

Obviously, delaying the move isn’t exactly an option. All the paperwork’s been put through, and that’s that. I just don’t know what to do. At the very least, I’ll take this as a big reminder to put away money for emergency savings in case I find him in our bed with another woman one night.

Should I bring this up to him? How? Does this count as cheating today? Have you ever been through something similar, and what did you do?

TLDR: I saw a Whisper notification, got weirded out, and went into my boyfriend’s phone, only to find he’s been sexting other women across multiple apps. We are two months away from moving in together, and the lease and security deposit have already been taken care of. I love him with all my heart but need some advice on how to cope.

Submitted November 15, 2018 at 02:01AM by worstdayofmylife6 https://ift.tt/2OKeyRG