Am I overreacting to my boyfriend being “late” all the time?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and we’re both in our early 20s. I’m still taking classes at a university and he’s talking a gap year, but he’s working. We only see each other a few days a week because of our schedules. But the days we do see each other, either he shows up to my place (I live alone and off campus), or I show up at his place (he lives at home with his family). I always show up to his place when I say I will. The days he’s supposed to come to my place, he always comes past the time he says he would.

For example, on Tuesdays, he always says “I’ll try to show up at 4pm”, and I assume that he will, so I’ll get ready for him to be there, and then it’ll be 4:30 or even closer to 5 when he’ll show up. And his excuse is always something about traffic or him deciding to eat or take a shower later than he expected. Mind you, most of these days he’s off.

It didn’t bother me at first because of course I can’t expect him to be on time every single day we see each other. I know that might be unreasonable. But this has become a pattern. It’s more often he shows up late than on time.

I finally talked to him about it the other day and he said I was overreacting because he never said that he would definitely show up at these times, it was always a “maybe” or “might” or “I’ll try”. But is it wrong for me to want him to be reliable? And part of it is also I feel like the things that make him late are things he can avoid. Like traffic for instance. If you know there will be traffic at a certain point in the day, leave earlier. And don’t wait until the last second to take a shower knowing you have to be somewhere by a certain time.

Idk, maybe it just feels like he’s not putting enough effort into seeing me, or that he doesn’t value our time together as much as I do. Sorry I know this was long, but I guess my main question is: am I overreacting?

TLDR: my boyfriend almost never shows up when he says he will and it’s started to bother me. We talked about it and he said it’s because these times were never a definite, just a maybe. And the things that make him late are super preventable/avoidable.

Submitted November 14, 2018 at 02:35PM by annonymouus1021 https://ift.tt/2qKd7Jv