Ah, this is so weird to actually write this down.
I should mention i have a partner, we’ve been together for 7 years and we have a daughter together.
She also has a male partner.
My best friend I have been inseparable for 12 years, it’s the kind of friendship you know will always be there. We connect on literally all levels and sometimes it’s actually quite scary.
I think it all started when I was about 14 and I was questioning certain aspects of my sexuality because of her. I struggled to be around her for a while because all I wanted to do was kiss her. We’ve kissed before, usually when alcohol has been involved. We were constantly together or on the phone to each other, not even talking about anything, it just felt weird not to be physically communicating at all times.
As we got older and we both become more certain within our selves and our sexualities we both admitted we’d had massive crushes on each other and we’d laugh about it and carry on with whatever we were doing.
Last year we were at a party and she was making out with some girl so I made myself scarce as not to cockblock her and went to go drink. After I’d had a few drinks I remember having a conversation with my best friend and she asked me why I left, I told her I didn’t want to get in the way. I was quite drunk so I don’t remember the details but I distinctly remember me saying she shouldn’t have kissed that girl, and she said “well, you should have kissed me instead.” I said “I know” and she then asked me why I didn’t? At that point our partners came round the corner and the conversation was forgotten and we haven’t spoken about it since, I’m not even sure if she remembers.
I’m not going to cheat on my partner, I’ve kind of had a discussion with him about my sexuality and he was very supportive and kind.
It’s extremely confusing to feel this way. It’s not even that I want to be in a relationship with her, because I don’t. I don’t know what I want. I think I just needed to get this out somewhere?
I don’t know.
TL;DR - confused about feelings towards my best friend.
Submitted July 28, 2018 at 06:10PM by FrankieJoe15 https://ift.tt/2uVrcXc
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