Relationship ended in an arrest and restraining order.

My boyfriend of 9 months (21M) and I (19F) just broke up two days ago because of something petty and it turned into a complete mess. Basically he broke up with me in the morning and then later that day after receiving no texts from him I stopped sharing my location and turned off his. This got him very upset and he assumed I had cheated on him (which I did not I was literally at home all day.) He started threatening me with some pretty crazy things that I won't go into detail and then started threatening to hurt my dad. This is when my mom called the cops because if my boyfriend would hurt anyone it would be my dad since he didn't like him. So the cops were now at my house and my boyfriend was still calling me non stop with threats that he's going to come over. The cops didn't think he would show up but I knew he would. The thing is is that I knew he wouldn't hurt me either. Our relationship has been very toxic since the beginning but I know he wouldn't hurt me. He showed up to my house past all the cop cars and went for the door. He was then arrested and honestly it was traumatizing to watch I wish I hadn't seen it. He was taken to the police station as well as me and the cops practically wrote my report for me which I thought was weird. All I did was sign and bam now I have a stay away order of protection against him. I'm left feeling so confused about how to grieve my relationship. I love him so much still and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me but I know this is probably for the best. I really just want to have one more conversation with him. I don't feel I'm strong enough to get through this it's the most pain I've ever felt and don't even feel like a person anymore. Keep in my mind this was my first real relationship so I dodn't even know how to get through a regular breakup let alone a restraining order. Please be kind.

tl;dr My relationship ended in an arrest and restraining order. I still love him and I don't know how to grieve this relationship when the last time I'll ever seen him was in a cop car.

Submitted September 01, 2021 at 05:15AM by madisontapa https://ift.tt/3zBp6L7