Reposting. Throwaway account as I’m afraid my ex knows my main.
My (28f) ex (28m) of 2.5 years cheated on me (once). He admitted everything, was crying so hard, told me he was sorry, and said that he will make it up to me and prove himself again. I was so angry and felt very much betrayed so I told him it was over right away. Day after I found out, he messaged me again and said sorry then that was it. I never replied.
I am angry, disgusted, sad, and I hated every single bit of what he did. But I hate how after everything, a part of me still loves him and wants to forgive him. I miss him and I hate myself because of that. Thing is, it’s not even the cheating anymore that make me depressed and anxious, it’s the fact that he still hasn’t messaged me since. I keep hoping and hoping that he would reach out but he never does even if he said he would prove himself again. Is he just giving me space? I hate myself.
Why am I still looking for closure? I want to have my peace of mind already. How do I even cope with this? How do I just move on? How do I stop hoping. They say it gets better through time. It gets worse for me and everyday feels like hell.
TL;DR! Ex cheated and I need help in handling things.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:08AM by iamachocopudding https://ift.tt/3u7XE5T
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