I (33f) feel like i cant say anything to my partner (33m) without him feeling criticised and throwing past favours in my face

I do a lot around the house because i have lived alone since 17. I know how to adult, even though its hard for me. He has lived at home most of his life apart from uni.

I was in hospital yesterday having a horrible investigative proceedure and hes barely done a thing to help me, apart from a lift home from hospital (i had to get a taxi there) and a couple school runs for my daughter because i wasnt allowed to drive.

He went out yesterday eve and i did the evening chores like cook, wash clothes, dishes etc. Today, he made himself lunch, blamed me having a bad attitude on why he didnt make me anything. And then when i mentioned he forgot something off our online shop, proceeds to blame me and throw in my face the fact he brought me home and took/picked up my daughter from school.

Im not ungrateful but there are basic relationship duties which i would do for him and never throw back at him, yet he always does this. Apparently im the problem, i have mental health problems, its always my fault...just because he cant handle any criticism.

He makes excuses all the time for why he hasnt done xyz (picked his shit up, washed dishes, other household/life admin) and i always end up doing more because i cant stand mess.

Arguments are always a competition about who has done more for the other/round the house. I also have chronic fatigue which has worsened this past year and am struggling with exercise, a healthy diet and working fulltime, while being a parent, and he takes zero account for that either.

How can i make this situation better without resenting him? And how can i approach things without him acting like a petulant child and throwing things in my face that are not relevant to the issue at hand?

Tl:dr i feel like my partner acts childish by point scoring and dont know how to get around it

Submitted July 01, 2021 at 08:39AM by laur1235 https://ift.tt/368xlkJ