Last weekend I got my first COVID vaccination, and I was pretty much fine other than being a bit more tired than usual. I told my fiancé I was going to sleep in, so he decided to go get groceries (we live together and usually get groceries together). When I got up I saw he had texted me a picture of a puppy and said he was playing with it. I figured he just stopped into a pet store to look around and asked to play with one of the puppies (not unusual for him), so I didn’t think anything of it. I missed a call from him while I was in the shower, but again, didn’t think much of it since he didn’t leave a message or text or anything. After about an hour, I hadn’t heard anything from him, so I called, but he didn’t pick up. I tried him a few more times over the next hour and got nothing. I was getting concerned because he usually picks up when I call or calls me on his way home. He then walks in the door carrying the puppy from the picture he sent me.
I was super surprised (and to be fair, the puppy was super cute), so I didn’t really say much. But once the initial shock and cute-puppy-face wore off, I realized how much cost and responsibility my fiancé signed us both up for and that he hadn’t even asked me about it.
We adopted a 5-year-old dog about a year and a half ago and lucked out with her being mostly well-behaved from the start. My fiancé never had a dog before her, so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he didn’t know how much work goes into having a puppy. But he obviously saw the cost of the puppy, knows how expensive vet trips are, and knew that we’d have to buy the puppy a bunch of stuff on top of it all. We’re both just starting out in our careers, had been planning to get a nicer apartment since we’re finally out of school, and have a wedding to plan/ pay for, so time and money aren’t really super abundant at the moment.
This part is a bit petty, but he spent double what he spent on my engagement ring for the puppy, supplies, etc. I don’t care so much about the price tag for my ring, but that was his biggest hesitation when he was thinking about proposing. We had talked about it for months, he asked my dad for his blessing, and it took him months more to bite the bullet and buy the ring. It took him over half a year to commit to that, but it took him probably less than an hour to decide to get the puppy. I’m assuming the price tag was the reason he was dragging his feet about our engagement, and he’s always super hesitant about wedding costs too, but that didn’t seem to deter him with the puppy. Is it wrong that I feel like he values me and our relationship less than his own wants?
I’ve had dogs my whole life and never turn down a chance to pet or cuddle puppies, but I REALLY wasn’t planning on actually owning a puppy, at least not for a while. I love the puppy, but I’m really upset and hurt about the circumstances around how we got her. My fiancé had asked me to split the cost, and I said that I couldn’t since that was an entire month’s salary for me. I feel guilty for making him foot the cost though (yes, I know I shouldn’t since I didn’t have any input in getting the puppy, but I do). I tried to talk to my fiancé about how I feel about all this, but he adamantly says that he’s not sorry about it.
Finally, I’m usually the one who has to schedule vet appointments for our other dog, keep track of her meds, order her food, etc. Fiancé took the puppy to the vet while I was at work and then texted me a laundry list of things the vet said we’d need to do. I told fiancé that the puppy is his responsibility since he got her, but I’m still worried it’s going to fall back on me and I’ll just do it because I don’t want the puppy to suffer because he forgot or didn’t think. I had concerns about having to do most of the work for our other dog, around the apartment, etc. before the puppy, and even though fiancé has been getting better about it, this really isn’t helping.
What do I do here, people of Reddit? I’m hurt, upset, and concerned, but my fiancé doesn’t seem to think there’s a problem.
TL; DR: fiancé got a puppy without asking me, I’m feeling some type of way about it, and fiancé doesn’t seem to care.
Submitted May 01, 2021 at 12:01PM by GenericAnnonymous https://ift.tt/3vEqkTJ
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