My (34 F) whole life, my mom has always urged me to date an older man, because my dad left her for a much younger woman, and she didn’t want the same to ever happen to me. She said it’s better to be the younger woman in this scenario. “A man is only as faithful as his options, and men have options much longer than women do.”
I was in a happy, almost decade-long relationship, so I never really worried about it, until he (34 M) blindsided me by leaving me for a teenager. I couldn’t believe it. She was barely legal.
Suddenly I understood my mom’s pain, and words of...wisdom? (I hope not.)
When I pointed out to him that she’s way younger than the “Half Your Age Plus Seven” rule, he said “She’s really mature for her age. She’s more mature than most people are in their late 20s.” Uhhh yeah, guess what? Older guys always told me I was “Sooooo mature” when I was a teenager too. Because they wanted to justify trying to sleep with me. I always saw right through it, and preferred to to date guys closer to my own age.
Fast forward >> I joined some dating apps, and I noticed most of the guys my age (and even older by a lot) have their age limit set to 30 for what they’re seeking. Wow. Our value expires at 30 apparently. And theirs? Nevvvver.
Fast forward some more >> I met someone! He’s (35 M) so handsome and funny and genuinely nice and we’ve been together for around seven months and are in love!
Great, right? But here’s why I’m suddenly now conflicted:
He took me to a get together last weekend at his friend’s (42 M) lake house. The guy is recently divorced and his new girlfriend (who’s rumored to be the reason he left his wife) is only 25. I felt secretly resentful towards the guy, given my recent experiences, but it wasn’t a big deal...
...Until my boyfriend and I were driving back afterwards, and he said “Mike’s new girlfriend seems sweet.” I said “Sure, but the 17 year age gap...” And he said, “Age is just a number. Besides, she seemed really mature for her age.”
Shit. Now all I can think about is that if he thinks age is just a number, then am I setting myself up to be left for a younger woman again eventually? Is my mom right? Should I become the younger woman by settling down with a senior citizen to prevent this cruel fate? Lol
OR should I calm down and have a little faith in huMANity and love?
It’s hard to have faith, when men are applauded for dating women half their age, and women are portrayed as tragic cougars when dating someone just five to ten years younger.
TL;DR: My dad left my mom for a younger woman and she always warned me the same thing could happen to me, and it did. Now I’m in a new relationship with someone my age, and he recently said “Age is only a number” and I’m worried that’s a red flag that he’ll also leave me for someone younger eventually. Am I overestimating the possibility?
Submitted May 23, 2021 at 03:12PM by someoneonredditsays https://ift.tt/3wrLTHf
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