My boyfriend (20m) made a Spotify playlist with another girl consistently messaged her and sent her inappropriate drunk voice memos.

When looking at my boyfriends Spotify account I saw he was following this girl. After looking on her page I found he had made a playlist with her that included some intimate songs about mental health. Also some songs were personal songs that he sent to me to express his feelings at the beginning of our relationship. He is really emotionally connected to songs they are like his love language.

I expressed to him I felt hurt by the Spotify playlist after I saw him messaging this girl on Snapchat sending voice memos while we were together. He reassured me and told me he didn’t ‘even consider her a friend’ just someone from a sports club 3 years ago and the playlist was made before we met. He continued to message her as a ‘friend’ and said he would do it while I was not there to make me more comfortable.

4 months later I did an admitably wrong thing which was checking his phone to see his messages with her. The last message sent was 2 week ago. As it was Snapchat they were all deleted however she had saved 4 voice memos he had sent to her that I listened to. One voice memo was one he sent at 12am drunk telling her he was drunk while his friend was making sex jokes in the background and commented “are you sending this voice memo to ur girl” he did not acknowledge this comment. Then he said “I am probably going to send you more voice memos because I’m sent I hope I don’t ruin your night”He also saved a voice memo of her giggling and saying he was funny- the rest were him just talking about his life.

She also sends him songs on Instagram. However she lives the other-side of England I believe genuinely he had no intention of meeting up with her but I wonder why he messages her then. I got very upset when I heard these messages and I regret getting angry at him rather than addressing it calmly. When I brought it up to him though he apologised he started shouting at me and pointed his hands close to my face. I don’t know what to do because I am in love with him he has so many amazing qualities but his lies and the way he handles ‘problems’ is a true red flag for me. Can someone please offer advise as I am struggling, I want to do the right thing

TL;DR - my boyfriend made a emotional Spotify playlist with another girl, told me that she was no one not even a ‘friend.’I checked the messages between them and he was sending inappropriate voice memos to her. I don’t know what to do I asked for him to give me a few days to think about things. If anyone could offer advise I’d be very grateful.

Submitted March 25, 2021 at 12:32PM by gibb235 https://ift.tt/3tPppP6