Married less than a year ago. At the wedding MIL told me that she didn’t plan to attend but she decided to in the end. SIL tried to postpone the wedding for a year justifying that it would be convenient for her to come in a year. On my last birthday I was asked by MIL to not fall pregnant from her son until I am 40z
Straight after my honeymoon my Grandma, who was like a mother to me, passed away. I can’t even begin to explain what I felt and what I am still feeling now, let’s just say I miss her every moment of my life. My husband gave me a hug that day which was nice. That was it in terms of support.
Fast forward to now. We postponed having a child for three years and months after the wedding. Up until the wedding he assured me that he can’t wait to start trying for a baby after the wedding. This changed straight after. My husband is not willing to discuss when we start trying unless I start hosting dinners for his family and apologise for not catching up with them when I was in grief. That was the time I haven’t seen anyone - not my friends, I cried at work, I cried at night, I stopped sleeping.
Anyway, here were are. Having children was important for me and now I feel tricked because I married a person who promised me we are on the same page. I can never have an answer without conditions that I just can’t meet and lectures about what a bad wife, daughter in law and sister in law I was.
I know it’s over. I would be stupid to trust that if I wait just a month/year/decade longer we will be one happy family with little ones and no complaints from mil and sil.
Unfortunately, divorce here requires a year separation. So that’s another year of not even starting to have children or at least move on with my life. I have ovary problems so after waiting for years I can’t wait another year. My only option I guess is to be a single mother by choice, I found a clinic and plan to have an appointment next week. Do you think it’s OK to do that during the separation process fully informing him that we are separated (I have), that I plan to have a child from a donor, that this child will not be his and he will not be listed as a father, will not have his surname (I haven’t changed mine?) Should I go to a lawyer to sign something for his peace of mind and to show court that the baby is not his baby so is not a complication for divorce?
TLDR: I waited for three years for him to reach a place he said he would be ready to have a child. When it came to that time, he gave me a list of conditions and refused to tell me when he will be ready if he will be. Seems to depend on how many dinners I host for his mom. I am about to start a single mum by choice process with a donor. Just want to do it the right way as the divorce process takes at least a year
Submitted March 05, 2020 at 08:19PM by evenbettertomorrow https://ift.tt/2TsuFJq
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