For some context, I’m now 23 and I haven’t seen them in 7 years. We met when I was 12, at tennis practice and every practice I would have. She was a little older than me and we didn’t talk much for a year or so before we started to become friends.
I never really had friends, and to this day I still can’t figure out why she was ever so nice to me. It always felt so sincere and genuine, the most I’ve ever felt from a someone else.
We went to the same high school, and saw each other often, but never outside of school or tennis events or practices. I found myself thinking about them a lot, and realized I liked her a lot.
I never bothered to ask her about what she thought of me, because even if she did like me even in some level, it wouldn’t matter, our personalities were worlds apart.
Around 16 I began hurting myself and adopting destructive tendencies, when she noticed all I received were kind words, and it touches me to this day.
She was outgoing and bubbly, while I am reserved and somber, as I am to this day. I can recall the sadness I felt as I knew the day was drawing closer I’d never see her again when she left for college.
She left me a hand written note, which I have since regrettably thrown away, thanking me for my friendship, and helping her to feel like someone cared. She also visited me on her last day before leaving. It was shocking to me, since she was always surrounded by people when I would see her.
I long ago gave up my feelings for her, and was in a five year relationship up until recently, but even in that relationship I would dream of her.
I dream of of seeing her again, it haunts me now even though I know she’s married to someone these days. I dream of us being together even though I knew from the very beginning that it would never be the case. Being near her made me feel alive and that I had purpose, and knowing I will probably never meet someone that has touched me in the way the have, reminds me of the many reasons I’m not happy.
Reading this back now I realize how ridiculous it is to feel this way, but I can’t deny that I do. For now, I’ll just keep her in my dreams.
I would like to know if any of you out there have or are having something similar happen with you. Tell me what your experience is, it’d be nice to know I’m not the only one that’s this way.
TL:DR: my dreams have involved a specific person for years. Have you ever experienced this or something similar?
Submitted March 04, 2020 at 09:40PM by OriginsDark https://ift.tt/32UlhRC
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