Boyfriend (27m) wants a break from me (29f) and for us to move out after 4 years together for little to no reason.

I have been with my boyfriend for four years, we have lived together for nearly two years. In all of that time we've only ever had one disagreement and made up the next day. It's been a fun and happy four years, we share the same likes, interest, hobbies and values- he was the one and he was always in my future plans. I got him out of his shell and together we traveled and experienced all sorts of things that he said if it wasn't for me he never would have done.

He and I moved away from his hometown about 6 months ago after he quit the family business to pursue a better suited career- something I was supportive of every step of the way and encouraged him to do because he didn't have the confidence to do it. At that time when we were living together in his home town his paychecks were so sparse and sporadic I began to support the both of us, creating significant financial strain on my end as well. But I loved him and we were happy.

A few months into his new job he isn't happy with the work and he realizes he is highly soughtafter and begins applying for even higher-paying jobs doing work he enjoys more a few hours north of where we are currently living, where we have only lived at since June. Again I was fully supportive of this decision and even mentioned giving up my career if I wasn't able to maintain my region living too far from it, because you know, you make sacrifices for the ones you love.

During a long road trip to see my family for Thanksgiving he began to act rather strangely about this whole situation. His conversation about the topic went from becoming "us" to "I" and I just could not get him to talk about it. On our way home I just couldn't take the tension anymore and asked him flat out if he intended for me to move with him and he said no. I was completely blindsided.

It's been really difficult trying to talk to him the past couple days and I still feel like he is holding back and I've been inconsolable, but his reasoning is that he has lost interest in me, brought up how we haven't really been intimate and we just feel like roommates anymore. I knew he had been becoming more distant but we have both been rather stressed about our jobs, and I was giving him the space that I thought he wanted. I talked to him about how I've always had intimacy issues and I should probably see a therapist about it, but that has nothing to do with him and is a totally separate discussion not for this thread.

I just kept telling him if he was having doubts he should have talked to me sooner, we could have worked through whatever was going on in his head, but I would have been there for him and I don't know why he thought he couldn't come to me. I told him that one day I hoped to have had his last name and all I was was supportive and caring to him. I apologized for not verbally telling him I loved him enough but I guess I wrongly assumed my actions would speak these words for me. I told him I feel like he just no longer needs me to financially support him and is just to going to throw me away. He of course claims this isn't the case, and he says it has nothing to do with moving away from the family business because it was something he needed to do. There isn't another woman involved, and he said that I've done nothing wrong- he just began to lose the spark about a year ago. He tells me he doesn't completely want me out of his life the thinks we need a break. I still love him and I've never felt so much pain and hurt my life.

Is there something else I should be asking? I am just so confused as to where this is coming from and why he doesn't want to work through this. Does taking a break ever solve anything? How could anyone take 4 years of a good thing and and just pull the rug without even talking about it?

TL;DR: Four conflict free happy years together ended by boyfriend without even talking about it

Submitted December 03, 2019 at 03:43PM by Elafacwen https://ift.tt/2RhLx4G