My (24f) boyfriend (27m) made my devastating news about himself, and ignored me on Christmas. I feel like I can never talk to him, how do I approach a person who avoids everything?

My bf (27m) and I (24f) are long distance. We've been dating for over 2 years now but have yet to spend a holiday together. I've always said that it very much feels like he likes living two separate lives: one at home with his family and then one with me when he's visiting (I visit once in a while too). I've felt this way since the beginning; he's not very good at texting or calling or communicating, so most of the time I feel like I have no idea what goes on in his day or week. And vice versa. The distance is just magnified by his apparent disinterest in talking. And he has his excuses for this: he's tired after work, he's watching tv (most common one), or he doesn't have the energy.

So yesterday was Christmas and I didn't expect to really hear much from him. I was having a hard day. Visited my grandpa in the hospital and tried to voice to my bf how sad it was to see him in there on Christmas. He didn't really engage, but fine, he's busy. Then at one point later in the day I got some really bad news about money. I was very upset. I told him and he only got upset because this could mean I might have to miss an upcoming holiday his family is going on, that they knew I was struggling to afford from the get-go. That's a whole other issue, but let's just say I've been stressing about money for a while and he's been guilt tripping me about the vacation. He was so mad about it and suddenly stopped talking to me for the entire night. We both had family dinners, but I didn't appreciate how he made it all about him.

Later in the night all the grandchildren opened a gift from my grandpa, who couldn't be there obviously, and we were shocked to see that he gave us each a huge amount of money. It was an emotional moment and we were silent for a while. It will make a big difference for a lot of us, and it's very generous but also very sad because it alludes to the scary state of his health too. I wanted to tell my boyfriend about this special moment (I cry just thinking about it actually). But he was still avoiding me last night, getting annoyed that I wanted to talk. He was "watching a show." So I haven't told him yet. I'm mad because he made it all about him and was not supportive.

So I don't know how to address this. If he will ever stop making every situation about him. Am I in the wrong for being upset that he didn't want to talk, or am I expecting too much from him on Christmas?

PS. I've spent many hours making him a Christmas gift over the holidays (one of the many time consuming gifts I've made over the years. Probably spent over 30 hours on them in total). How am I willing to give him so much time in various ways, but he just shuts me out.

TLDR: My bf doesn't seem to want to give me time if he doesn't feel like it, even on Christmas when I was having a hard time with my sick grandpa and devastating news about money. I feel like I can't talk to him and he makes every situation about him. I'm so lost, how do I approach this?

Submitted December 26, 2019 at 01:37PM by throwaway35034590345 https://ift.tt/2MAakhr