I really need some advice on what to do in this very uncomfortable situation where I believe my friend’s husband might be conducting a relationship with at least one underage minor. I can’t tell if I’m reading into this too much.
My friend of six years (25/F) married her husband (31/M) two years ago. He is a community leader who founded a small organization. The people who are involved in leadership under him and my best friend are young girls. There are quite a few of them, but 2 main ones are always around. One is now 18, the other 14. I am particularly concerned about his relationship with the 14 year old.
Here are some of the odd things I noticed online:
•His Facebook posts are consistently just photos of him flanked by all of these young girls, particularly the 14 year old. •He has photos with the 14 y/o where it appears they hung out alone, photos of her visiting him on his job where he writes how happy he was, photos of them together in groups, and photos just of her. •He gives the 14 year old girl guitar lessons, no other students involved, and on his social media he posts about how proud he is of her, pictures of her during them, and says her talent is being “groomed.” •He takes a lot of photos of just her on his personal social media profile, and also of the other young girls, for his organization’s social media account. •There is one married older woman involved in the leadership of this organization, but he never takes photos of her or writes about her the way he does with the young girls. •There are no photos with male friends. •In one photo he posted with the 14 year old, their faces are touching and he is holding her. In another, he posted a picture of her and says he cried because she went away for the summer and he’ll miss her...
The few times I have been around all of them, I have also seen disturbing things in person. I will also list these:
•One time, I was with the 4 of them, and after dinner ended, he offered to drive the 18 (then 16) year old girl home alone night. My best friend intervened and said she would take her home, but he insisted, and my friend expressed to me privately that he always does this with the girls and doesn’t understand that it looks bad. It made her upset. •The 14 year old told me that on one car ride alone with him, he began to cry in front of her and tell her something emotional in his life that was happening to him. This happened when she was 13. •When I helped them move into their apartment, it was just me and the 2 girls. I was expecting older people or guys to be there, but there were none. That day, he and the 14 year old somehow paired up and went to the second level of the house alone to put furniture together, with music playing loudly on his phone, while the 3 of us unpacked downstairs. I was very uncomfortable with this situation. I kept walking upstairs under the pretense of getting something. One of those times, he had stepped away and I saw her alone taking pictures of herself on his phone. She heard someone coming upstairs, but when she saw it was me, she flinched. Then she took a selfie with me but it felt forced. So I know he has photos of a 14 year old on his phone.
Other odds things I’ve noticed: •My friend’s husband has practically 0 male friends, and my friend always complains he never wants to go out with anybody; if a male person in his life has an event or birthday party, he won’t go. He never seems to hang out with other males one on one on a regular basis. (I find it odd that no guys from the church nor a single male friend came to help them move heavy boxes). •I am closer to his age but he shows no interest in really knowing me, and I barely interact with him. •I’ve seen him at a gathering of peers and he didn’t talk to anyone, but isolated himself with my friend. Yet he seems so close and interactive with these young girls. They always talk and laugh together. •He is also 6 years older than my friend, and she knew him for years when she was very young. He dated her good friend for a year before her, who was 19 at the time when he was 25. •After he began to date my friend when she was 20, he would pressure her to sleep with him before she was ready, saying that if she didn’t that she must not love him, accusing her of finding him unattractive, and giving her the silent treatment, etc. She used to tell me everything about these arguments, but ever since the marriage she has closed off. -He puts her down in public.
I am so disturbed and every time I am with this group, like during the move, I feel complicit. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I’m making this up, and I don’t know who to tell. Does anyone have any advice for me? Do these sound like red flags to you?
TL;DR: I suspect my friend’s husband may be grooming underage girls. Do I tell someone? Do I tell my friend? How do I deal with this?
Submitted December 29, 2019 at 10:43PM by Druzy24 https://ift.tt/2QwlaWP
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