I just saw my BF’s best friend cheat on his GF... and no one in their friend group bat an eye (all mid-20s)

I know people’s ideas of cheating vary; personally, for me, cheating constitutes doing anything with someone you wouldn’t want your SO to know about - obviously, having sex and kissing, but also snuggling, cuddling, being romantic/affectionate (unless your SO is okay with this). Some friend groups are super affectionate with one another which is why I say this.

My BF and I went out today so I could meet a couple of his friends who came to our city. I know his best friend and best friend’s girlfriend - they live together, have been a couple for c. 2 years. BF and I have been together for 2 years too, living together.

We went to this bar place where there were two of their friends (guys) and a girl I didn’t know. Best friend sits right next to girl and they start teasing each other and acting very inappropriate. To name a few things: she said he can come over and sleep at her place as a “joke”, he “joked” how he was the best one she had, how she is going to visit him in the city he lives and tell his GF she was his cousin, she said she “feels tired” and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder, while he snuggled her. She knows he has a GF, as did all of us.

I was very uncomfortable throughout the exchange as I don’t know his GF well (we’ve spoken twice). While going home, I told my BF that I think his friend was acting in a shitty way and very inappropriate, to which he said we don’t know how things between best friend and his GF are. From passing remarks in the past, I’ve gathered best friend “hangs out” with this girl every time they’re in the same city (without his GF knowing). Oh and the girl in question is an ex of his.

I feel very uncomfortable as I don’t condone cheating. I have no reasons to doubt my BF - he is nothing like his best friend (he is polite, shy, even his parents have joked in front of me that he doesn’t even recognise if someone is flirting with him). But then again, we are like the company we keep aren’t we?

I tried discussing it a bit, framing it as “what your friend did sucks” to which my BF says “you know him, he’s like that but he would never cheat”. I don’t know his GF that well she is very traditional so I’m pretty sure she would consider her BF sneaking out, cuddling and outright flirting with an ex cheating.

I’m more bothered by my BF’s nonchalant attitude towards it (he doesn’t condone it but he says it’s not right to judge friends behind their backs).

How do I have a talk with him and voice my concerns - basically worried if he’s hanging with cheaters, he condones this behaivour - without coming across as paranoid (as he hasn’t given me any reason to suspect him)? What do I do?

Tld;r: Went out with BFs friends. His best friend cuddled and flirted with an old ex of his, despite having a GF. BF didn’t seem too phased about it. I’m worried about his attitude to cheating if he hangs with cheaters but in the 2 years we’ve been together, he has never really given me a reason to suspect him. Want to talk to him without sounding paranoid or like I’m keeping him accountable for his friend’s behaviour.

Submitted December 26, 2019 at 01:41PM by hisfriendsssuck https://ift.tt/2slAo8U