To set the scene, I (26F) work from home as a transcriptionist. I make good money - comparable to what husband (27M) does at his job, sometimes more. We have three children - 6M, 3F, 1M. My "office" is set up in a way that the kids can play and I can supervise them. Its all we can do right now, so please don't criticize me too hard on that. I do the best I know how for them. Husband and I have been together 5 years, I had my oldest son when I was young but my husband adopted him in 2018.
My husband's mother (50F) has never liked me. I thought maybe it was personality traits as she is bubbly and I'm more of an introvert. She has been awful to me ever since the birth of our third. When I asked my husband to give me space for a few days recently (I posted about that too) she told him she thought I was going to either run off with our children or lock him out because i come from a low income family.
She has also been making jabs that i don't clean and serve him enough basically, and husband should be able to just sit down after work and relax while I do the rest. My oldest son has a habit of pulling old socks that have holes out of the trash after I've thrown them away and one day he wore a pair and I didnt realize. My mother in law blamed me for this. For christmas, my husband, his siblings, and their husbands/wives all got really nice, expensive sweaters. I got a pair of shapewear leggings and a tie dye hoodie with shoe laces on the sides. I am not overweight in any way, just average size. I went downstairs to 'nurse' the one year old but I had to or else I would've cried in front of everyone.
These people have insulted me in every way - calling me fat, ugly, stupid, low class ever since husband and I got together. But the insults have become more bold over time. My husband says nothing. He just watches it happen.
I ask him to at least have my back and he says he won't. He says that his family is passive aggressive and if we say anything they will just act like we are wrong. I've told him I don't see what's wrong with me saying something like 'I dont feel like that comment is accurate or appropriate' because I cannot take anymore. He tells me it isn't fair to expect them to be perfect and if I want to give them a message I must do so passive aggressively, but he also said that gifting my mother in law the seasons of Everybody Loves Raymond is too bold.
He does expect me to continue going to family things. For christmas we were there every day Sat - Wed, despite my protests. I was insulted every single one of these days. He expects things will just resolve over time but won't listen to me saying they are only getting worse!
I have considered that I might be the problem, but I can't think of anything I could do differently. I have never tried to offend anyone, and when they are rude to me I usually just keep quiet. I am ready to start standing up for myself, but also worried it will make things worse.
I realize this is a jumble so feel free to ask questions if you have them. There has just been so much I couldnt possibly write it all.
TLDR; my (26F) in-laws are horrible and belittle me, while husband (27M) stands by and watches.
Submitted December 30, 2019 at 03:52PM by Nousername889 https://ift.tt/2F56yrZ
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