I (24F) lashed out at my younger sister (24F) to stop wasting her time ( currently unemployed and living at home) when she was being sanctimonious about my weight

Sister is 21F

I don't live at home. Studied Bachelor's Engineering at a Uni rated no 1 in my country (Bear with me, I'm not bragging this info is important)

I worked hard, got into my uni (most of it scholarships) post which I'm working in Finance. I make a decent amount of money. It's good for my age not exceptional. I am aware that I have to be working extremely hard to keep up with my peers both at my uni and at my current job

For additional context, this is a South Asian Country where unemployment is high, you can get good jobs only if you are from good unis ( mostly Engg or Medicine)

My sis on the other hand did not try as hard to get into a good uni in any field, my parents also gave up on pressuring her as she would break down, create a scene at the slightest stress. She graduated a year ago from her 3 year course at a local college and has taken this year off to figure out where to apply for post graduation (Europe or USA) and lives at home.

Now, for some reason both my sister, mum and dad believe that I'm extremely proud of myself, in a bad way. I keep telling them that I'm not proudbut grateful for everything I have. Going to a top uni, my current job are very humbling for me. I keep trying to tell them that but they don't get it.

I know that a big hurdle for first gen graduates is lack of information which sets them up to fail. So I keep trying to inform my sister about options and encourage her to aim higher. But she has it set in her mind that I'm proud of myself, she feels everything I say to her is to belittle her. Because of this I have been patient over the past few months, try to gently suggest options

As for my weight, it has always been a struggle. In uni I was 140 lbs which was ok for my height and have put on ~40 lbs since then because I deal with stress by eating and not having had an athletic childhood, am just learning how to incorporate exercise into my life

My entire family is overweight, so they are extra sensitive about this. I've arrived at home 2 days ago, every conversation everyone has been having me has been about my weight. I have tried explaining calmly that I'm aware of my situation, am actively working towards rectifying it

This morning, my mum and sis again started a discussion about my weight. I dealt with it calmly for a while but when they started lecturing me about balancing my life and not going to extremes (I have tried some diets and unfortunately failed, they are quite ignorant about nutrition too). I lashed out and said that they are in no position to lecture about balancing life when both of them, particularly my sister who just sits at home on her ass the entire day. In fact since they have much more time they could be working on their health much more efficiently than me which they have failed to do.

I also pointed out to my sister how she failed to take my advice about giving her University eligibilty exams ( GRE/GMAT) in time and is now stuck with a bad score with application deadlines too close to improve them. I also told her how her taking off a year and sitting at home won't reflect well in her applications.

I went on to say that if she took out a loan to pay for her post grad and didnt go to a good University she would not get a good job and then I would not help her with her loans (I would, I was just angry). My father had a heart episode last year and he runs a business. He also has a couple of outstanding loans. I told her to consider this situation.

They turned this episode on one point that Im selfish about money,proud of my job and want to insult my sister. My sister has been ranting for an hour about how I am a shit person and will end up alone. I have been telling her that I presented facts fo her and nothing else.

What is the best course of action to repair things?

TLDR : Sister and I fucked up the holidays by insulting each other. Need advice on repairing the situation.

Submitted December 27, 2019 at 12:06AM by throwaway_momsisAITA https://ift.tt/361Eemm