After attending all of his family’s functions for the past month, my SO(M27) left me(F27) alone on New Year’s

Hello everyone!

Reading all the holidays post made me think about my current situation and I need some advice.

My bf and I have been together for 4 years, and friends for around 7, this will be our 5th xmas together as a couple, usually we divide our time between our two families as his family likes to spend the holidays on a farm a few hours away from our town and we don’t own a car so going there is a hassle to say the least, I also don’t really like going because we always end up having to sleep on the floor or in a very uncomfortable sofa bed, the water is not potable so we can’t drink from the tap, the wifi is shitty, they always have a million chores for him to do so I always end up sitting alone on my phone for the duration of the stay.

But his mom’s birthday is on dec 24th, so of course we went and spent xmas there, that’s fine. We also went on the 28th because his mom was organizing a big cookout, invited a bunch of people and we ended up sleeping on the floor because there weren’t enough beds, also fine. I thought this would all be ok because we’d spend new year’s with my family in our city.

But nope, last night he says he’ll be going back to the farm on dec 31st and will be back jan 2-3rd, maybe. I’m very upset by this and told him I thought we’d be staying since we’ve been going to his family’s functions all month and he never ever attends mine, he says it’s boring here, my family doesn’t do anything special and they just go to bed past midnight, I told him we could go party and he says he doesn’t like to party in this city.

So now I’m alone on new year’s.

I understand where he’s coming from, my family is small, they fight and are disfunctional, I also wish I was somewhere else tonight but at least with him, I thought we’d stay here, have dinner, drink and have fun together but I always have to be where he is, he never attends my work functions either.

I understand it’s not the greatest of times but if I can make an effort to spend time with a bunch of strangers for him then maybe he can do the same for me. But apparently I’m not worth it.

Am I crossing a line, is this my fault? Someone once said we are codependent and should try to do things separate (we do spend every moment possible together) so maybe this is a good thing? But I feel abandoned.

This isn’t the first instance when he’s left me alone, I feel like I’m way more supportive and accommodating than he is and maybe this isn’t working out anymore. But we love each other so much, I’m scared of making a mistake and letting go of a good thing because I’m too clingy.

TLDR: after spending all other holiday functions with his family I thought we’d spend new year’s together with mine but he ditched me and I feel abandoned

Submitted December 31, 2019 at 12:01PM by itsmealwaysalone https://ift.tt/2QfLRjq