I (26f) got a hotel this Christmas because I wasn't comfortable with sleeping arrangements at my parents house. It's caused hurt feelings

For personal reasons, I don't really feel comfortable sleeping many places. I'm only really comfortable sleeping alone in a locked room, sleeping with my fiance in his locked apartment, or sleeping over a friend's apartment if they lock the area we're sleeping in. So if that friend lives alone, the doors and windows need to be locked. If they've got roommates, the bedroom door needs to be locked.

I can't fall asleep in common areas of a house or apartment unless I'm sure the only people who have access to the place are my boyfriend or my closest friends. Same goes for an unlocked bedroom in a house or apartment.

I can't share a bedroom and fall asleep unless I'm sharing with someone I know very well and trust.

Basically, I need a lock between me and people I'm not super close with, to be able to sleep. And that list of people I'm really close to is short, it's my fiance, and my three closest friends.

My parents know all this, and they said that they'd have something set up when I came home for Christmas.

So I came home and my parents had given me a pull out couch in the home office, which is on the ground floor and has two doorways without doors, let alone locks. One into the sitting room and one into the hallway. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep there, so I asked my mom why she'd given me that room. She said that she needed to give the beds to my grandparents, and my two pregnant cousins and their husbands.

I said OK, I wasn't about to ask any of them to switch, but I was going to get a hotel when in town, because I wanted to be able to get good rest.

And my mom got upset, she said that she knows I need a locked for between me and the people I don't know, and they'll lock the house. Everyone staying over is family.

I said I just don't know them that well that I've got that comfort level, there are very few people I'd sleep in front of.

My mom and dad were mad I got a hotel, since it's 30 minutes away even though it was the closest option I could afford. They were also mad about how it seemed like family wasn't on my mental "most trusted" list but honestly I think they were misunderstanding it... I just can't get that close to people I see once or twice a year.

It also made Christmas strained, someone must have told everyone that I was sleeping in a hotel because I was "scared of falling asleep in front of them' which caused some hard feelings. I don't know who gossipped, but whatever.

What can I do now to smooth things over?

TLDR - I got a hotel this Christmas and my family is upset

Submitted December 27, 2019 at 08:25AM by throawayy98 https://ift.tt/2QqQoyz