Hey r/relationships. This is an update on the post that I made a couple of months ago. Basically my boyfriend had lied to me about his job and education (made the whole thing up). he had told me that he was in a PhD program and that he had a job as a researcher at a university. I found out that he had no job and that he wasn’t in a PhD program. He later confessed to me that he had dropped out of college in his last year at undergrad. When I made the post, I still thought that he had his bachelors degree but he cleared that up for me a couple of days after and showed me his transcripts. I wanted to know if we could still make it work after he told me the truth.
A lot of the people who commented said that this situation reminded them of the podcast Dirty John and encouraged me to listen to it (I did and it’s excellent. And I did see some parallels).
Anyway since this happened, I told him that he had to get himself a job if he wanted to be with me, so he got an office job. It’s full time. I’ve seen his employment paperwork and I’ve met his coworkers. He is not a scammer. He lied to me because he was lonely, and the last time he was “on the grid” was during his last serious relationship a few years ago.
I didn’t see much need to write about other aspects of our relationship before, but it is the best relationship I have been in. It has been over four months now and he is so sweet and kind to me. Ever since I found out the truth, there is no weirdness between us and we have been happy together.
I know that a lot of people on here were saying that I needed to dump him, especially because I have a young daughter, so I know that I might be opening myself up to some negative comments. But I did promise an update. My parents have stopped talking to me over this, but they have done this many times in my life (including when I married my ex and when I got pregnant with my daughter). I’m about to graduate from law school, and I have good employment prospects. I am in therapy, and my therapist said that I am making good healthy choices (I told her everything).
So I don’t need your approval and I doubt I’m getting it but I wanted to let you all know that for what it’s worth, not all liars are abusive assholes. Some are just afraid that they aren’t good enough, and need someone to show them that they are.
TL;DR we stayed together. He got a job. I have hung up my detective hat, and we are very happy together.
Edit: Thank you so much to whoever gilded this post. I really didn't expect this much support and kindness, and it means a lot to me.
Submitted April 01, 2019 at 08:26AM by la_gran_puta https://ift.tt/2I2SIJC
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