My(27M) wife (25F) is very unhappy and asks me to get rid of or stop doing the things I love to make her happy but it's never enough.

I have no friends or family so I created an account to ask for help.

My wife and I have been together for 5 years married for 4, she had a bad marriage before me and had a child. I had no problem stepping up to the plate to help her raise her child (the father wants nothing to do with my wife or his kid)

To the point, I had 2 friends that I've had since I was 16, they were both female and I had dated one of them for 4 years but we split up agreeing that we made better friends then an actual couple. Which never happens in real life apparently. Shes always been my go for advice and I made our friendship 100% transparent for my wife when we first met and never hid anything. Out of habit my friend and I still said we loved each other but more if a platonic love. We both loved our current partners and never wanted anything between each other. However after a few years this took a toll on my wife and she asked me to stop telling her that I loved her. So I explained this to my friend and she said she understood and would have no problem doing so.

Another month or so I still have 100% transparency with my wife as to make her feel comfortable. I got deployed and my friend had just had her baby and asked me if I wanted to facetime to see her. I said yes naturally happy for her and her husband. After a nice chat and meeting her new son. I got a call from my wife a few days later asking if I had talked to her kn facetime. I told her that I had and why, also telling her what we had discussed. My wife then didnt talk to me the rest of my deployment. When I got home I explained that I was sorry it hurt her feelings and wanted to make things better. She told me to never talk to her again. I tried to explain that its was just a friendship and that neither of us wanted a relationship.

My wife took it upon herself to call her and tell her that if she didnt stop talking to me forever that she would tell my friends husband that we were having an affair.

She did not tell me any of this. I quickly noticed she had blocked me on everything, including my number. I had no idea what happened so I confronted my wife and she told me that she was certain I was cheating on her and that my friend and I were having an affair. She then told me that she had called her and only asked her to not talk to me anymore. I was slightly upset but stood by her decision and held no grudge.

I feel like this event led to the breakdown of everything. She started to have no trust in anything I did, constantly going through my phone, and she would constantly lock her phone, or lock herself in the bathroom talking to someone on the phone.

She started blaming her job for her unhappiness, I told her that I could pull extra hours at work if she wanted to quit to find a new one. She quickly quit her job and made no attempt to find work agajn.

I was enlisted at the time. She said she hated that I was gone all the time so I offered to go reserves to be with her more. She said that would fix it. So I got a civilian job that paid decent but we had to move.

The job is stressful and I'm not very fond of being a civilian. She has now come to the conclusion that I need to get out of the military and quit my civilian job and we to move again and that's the only way she'll be happy.

I feel like I've given up everything for her to be happy, I'm trying to show her the logic that there is no way for us to survive if neither of us work.

I love my wife and dont want a divorce but I feel like she will never be happy and I'm not sure how to fix it. She blames everything on me and says that I'd be happier with someone else or says shes leaving again.

I'm currently deployed again and the last week I was home she wouldn't talk to me or spend time with me and our daughter. She would lock herself in the bedroom all day. Then at night she would call me names and say I dont care about her and I never spend time with her.

Im very confused because I'm not the best with emotions, I'm a logical man and I see no logical answer here.

Any thoughts or advice would be great. Thank you!

TL:DR My wife is unhappy and refuses to do anything about it. She blames all of these problems on me, yet refuses to even let me try. She is constantly going through my phone or asking me if I'm cheating. She keeps asking me to give up the things I love in an attempt to make her happy

Submitted April 26, 2019 at 04:09AM by grootius http://bit.ly/2Zu1Mxg