My [29M] fiancee's [32F] family/friends made a decision for her about our wedding day without her say.

Hi all.

I have been with Claire for 8 years and have been engaged since September, looking forward to a spring wedding on the beach in a few weeks. We have a four year old daughter, Rebecca.

Claire has severe eye problems. She has needed many operations over the years and has worn very strong glasses since she was a baby. Even with her glasses on her eyesight is limited. She can't drive and needs a specially coloured keyboard at work. Without glasses all she can see is a blurred mess, and her eyes can't tolerate contacts. Her vision has been very poor since she was little and has deteriorated considerably over the years, to the point that it's a distinct possibility that she may go completely blind in the future.

Rebecca unfortunately has the condition too. She also needs strong glasses and her vision is even worse than Claire's was at the same age, so it is a big worry for us. However, we don't let that affect her and she is able to be a happy, active and confident child in spite of her visual impairments.

Claire works in ophthalmological research, trying to find new treatments for those severe visual impairments. She has learned to accept and to an extent embrace her condition as part of who she is, which is why she's a fantastic role model to our daughter.

Anyway so Claire went to her mum's place yesterday to do more wedding planning with her mum, her two sisters, my sister and the bridesmaids. When I came to pick her up and took her home, she started to cry. I got her to open up, and apparently during the wedding planning a decision was made without consulting Claire.

They discussed the dress, hair, makeup etc, but then something else came up. Obviously Claire's dad Karl will be walking her down the aisle. Her mum Nikki said out of the blue that they will need to organise something so that she could get to him ''since obviously you won't have your glasses''. She was shocked and so was I to hear it. Apparently the bridal party have all decided - without consulting Claire - that she isn't going to be wearing the glasses that she needs to see. Apparently a bride with thick glasses looks silly or something. Claire was too shocked and upset to argue but played it cool. She cried her eyes out when she got home and I was fuming. I love and will support Claire no matter what. If she had decided for herself then that is fine. But how could everybody else make such a serious and insensitive decision without her say so?

It's very strange because Claire's mum in particular has been extremely supportive of both her daughter and granddaughter's conditions. At Claire's niece's birthday party Rebecca's glasses came off after she was hit by a ball when the kids were playing outside. She stopped everything so that they could find the glasses and hugged and reassured Rebecca when she was panicking and crying. To go from that to trying to get her own daughter to spend her special day totally blind for vanity's sake is crazy.

I soothed Claire as she cried herself to sleep. I said to her that she should do what she feels is right and she has decided to wear her glasses, since the idea of not seeing my face while she says her vows seems pointless.

However, how is Claire going to explain/justify this decision to her bridal party without causing arguments?

TL:DR; My fiancee who needs strong glasses was asked not to wear them and go to the ceremony blind. This was upsetting for both of us.

Submitted April 01, 2019 at 09:46AM by bangbangaboom https://ift.tt/2I5PRiR