Long Post. Looking for some advice on how you would handle this situation.
A little back story on my relationship with SIL. 10 years ago before their marriage, I tried to get my brother to wake up, back then I thought she was self centered and entitled with a princess complex. Needless to say, I didn't succeed and for 5 years I had limited communication with my brother. 5 years into the marriage they started a family and I mended fences for the childrens sake. However, I have always contended that she's ok as a friend but I don't like her as my brothers wife. I have watched her spend money hand over fist, as much as $50,000 in 3 months on clothes, make up and shoes, etc. Now my brothers job is in a downturn and so he has had to curb her spending (she only works 4 days a month - but NEEDS daycare and a house keeper)
Fast forward to present day. She announced 2 weeks before my wedding that they might be getting divorced. She was a bridesmaid and gave me the option of asking her to sit out, but assured me that no one would know about the divorce until after the wedding, if it even happened at all. I said nope we are friends, I still want you to be part of my day.
On the wedding day and days surrounding the wedding, it became obvious that she was using our wedding to find a new man (my now husband has a lot of well off single male friends). She was blantantly flirting with 2 men in particular in front of my brother and I. It was obvious she was not interested in partaking in the bridal party festivities.
This was a destination wedding and we spent the following 10 days together. 2 days after the wedding, I pulled her aside and addressed the behavior. I explained that she was making our friends uncomfortable with her behavior and I suggested she either stop or cut her trip short.
Now we are all home, and I am hearing stories from 2 of the friends, that she is relentlessly texting both of them. Even when they are not responding. She is begging them to meet up just for 1 night, pleading with them not to ghost her, offering to send nudes. All this while apologizing to me for making my husband and I uncomfortable and letting us know how much she values our friendship.
Its clear to me that she has some self esteem issues and is searching for male approval/attention. I am concerned that when she is no longer living with my brother and she is in her own place with their 3 children, that this behavior will continue. Maybe with men who aren't trying to let her down gently because of their friendship with my husband. The dating scene today is a lot different then 15 years ago when she started dating my brother.
I am wondering if I should sit down with her as a friend and get to the root of the problem. Get her to face the real issues that she has with herself. Or should I just let her crash and burn? 2 of the 3 children are daughters, and I am concerned that they will end up with the same lack of confidence as her.
TLDR: Soon to be Ex SIL is begging for male attention from my husbands male friends. Offering up nudes and booty calls, just for attention. Do I address it and get her help or let her crash and burn?
Submitted April 03, 2019 at 08:59AM by Queenofthejungle https://ift.tt/2uKqtYb
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