So when I was 19-23 y/o I dated a guy (Randy) who did a number on my self-esteem by acting very hot/cold. He finally committed after a few years, but he was an absolutely shitty boyfriend. Major issues included his emotional (and unconfirmed physical) cheating and aggressive bullying when he wouldn’t get his way. Our final breaking point was him screaming at me during my graduation party in front of our families and friends. Everyone was pretty upset by the scene he caused, especially his younger brother, Ryan, who had also become my friend by that point.
I finally dumped Randy and moved across the country for grad school, which is where I’m still living today. I haven’t spoken to Randy in almost 4 years, because why would I and also he sucks.
Ryan and I loosely kept in touch over the years with stuff like birthday texts, Instagram comments, etc., but I hadn’t seen him since I broke up with Randy. About a month ago Ryan texted me that he was in my city for work and wanted to grab a coffee and catch up. So we met up and seriously hit it off. We had always gotten along great, but now we have this amazing chemistry that definitely wasn’t there before.
Here’s the issue: Ryan was in my city because he was interviewing for a transfer and he’s moving here next month. We’ve met up every time he’s been in town and while it’s not gotten seriously physical between us yet, we’ve definitely been going on actual dates and building up to it.
Ryan wants to pursue a relationship and I’m really into him, but I’m also not sure if it’s a good idea given the fact that his brother is my demented ex-boyfriend. Ryan has never been close to Randy (Randy is apparently estranged from his whole family) and he’s also unbothered by my past history with his brother. I feel like I’m doing something wrong, but do I really owe Randy anything? Am I being an idiot and it’s just common sense not to date an ex’s family member? I’m lost here and could use some advice.
**tl;dr** Dated and dumped a jerk back in college and years later I’ve ended up reconnecting with his brother who I now want to date. Am I crazy/in the wrong for wanting to pursue a relationship with an ex’s brother?
Submitted March 28, 2019 at 08:30AM by ImpossibleFondant https://ift.tt/2OtIGlK
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