I work at an engineering company. I left my previous job because I was harassed by a superior, and HR didn’t help, and most of my coworkers there sided with the guy who harassed me. So I admit that kind of thing is a sore spot for me.
But I got my current job, got out of there, and thought everything was better for a while. My team at my current job and I all have each other’s phone numbers to coordinate the occasional work travel but that hasn’t caused any problems so far. My boss, I’ll call him Daniel, had sent me complements over text before but they never seemed to cross a line, they were all about my work, my work ethic, my accomplishments, etc.
———
Yesterday night, I was just having a really bad night. I’d accidentally ran into someone from my old job, when my friends and I were out drinking, and that got me thinking about how angry I was about how things ended with that old job. I took a pay cut just to get away, I alsolost out on 10 thousand dollars of my 401K match because I left too early, and the last few months before I left had just been really awful on me emotionally. It caused me to damage some friendships because I was too drained to spend time with my friends, and I cancelled on people more than I should have.
Once I started dwelling on that old pain, I decided to stop drinking and just go home because I knew no good would come of continuing to drink when I was in a sour mood. So I told my friends I was not feeling well and I called an Uber for myself.
———
When I was in the Uber, I got a text from my current boss Daniel, he was calling me beautiful, that he adored my body, saying he couldn’t get his mind off me, said he could tell I felt similarly.
(WTF NO)
That was so out of the blue and unwanted for me. Plus, I was already in a sour mood about having been harassed out of my past job. So I kinda spiralled mentally. Thinking “Not again, I just left a place because of this bullshit, I can’t believe this is happening again, fuck you.’ I guess my anger at how stuff ended at my last job compounded with my anger at having gotten that text from my boss, and my fear that I’d go through the same thing again…
I was so panicked that I was shaking all over and was having trouble typing, but I managed to slowly type out “go to hell you wrinkly c***, don’ you ever text me again, don’t you ever fucking think for one minute that you can put your hands on me, or even fucking look at me the wrong way. if you try shit with me at work i will defend my self with everything i have.” I felt really good for the first few seconds after I sent it, I’d regretted not standing up for myself more at my last job so it felt so good to get my uncensored thoughts out. But then it hit me how I may have majorly fucked up. And then I blocked my boss’s number.
I don’t know if Daniel sent me anything more after that because I haven’t unblocked him.
I went home and decided to just go to bed and not say or do anything more I might regret until I’d slept and sobered up. And now it’s the next day, and I’m stressed as hell.
On one hand, I think I ought have done the “right thing” and gone straight to HR, and that I royally fucked up for speaking for myself so angrily. But on the other hand I don’t really trust HR departments to handle shit anymore, and I’m thinking maybe there’s a chance I’ve resolved stuff for good all on my own So… I’d really like some advice. What do I do at work on Monday? Damage control somehow, or just walk in there with my head held high and rise above all this?
tl;dr - My boss sent me a creepy message, I sent a very angry one back. What do I need to do on Monday to save my job?
Submitted March 30, 2019 at 02:27PM by AlarmedSorbet2 https://ift.tt/2uCy0bz
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