Me and my boyfriend have been together since high school, roughly 10 years on and off. We have an elementary school aged child together (we had the child shortly after high school). In the first year of our relationship things were great, but we hit a rough patch where he was being secretive and hiding his phone from me. Deep down I knew he was cheating but I was naive and he was my first boyfriend so I stuck with him (stupid I know). So we broke up and got back together and then had our child. Everything was great, until I got a text from some girl just 3 days after child was born, saying disgusting things like she wishes the child was dead, racist things towards me and so on. She also said she was sleeping with my boyfriend. I was so hurt and confused and angry so I confronted him and he denied it. So I tried to stay with him for the childs sake. A few months down the line we move in together and I see a picture of him and her giving him a lap dance, it was for his 21st birthday, he went to a bar without me I was still 20. I was so angry we got into a huge fight but still I stayed. Couple months later I had a sore that I went to get checked and sure enough he gave me herpes. When I told him he completely denied ever cheating and said it was me. Mind you I was a virgin and he was my first. So I snooped, got his password and went through EVERYTHING. And in his email I see a picture from the same girl who messaged me months before. They were kissing in some, others of her naked. I checked his phone records they talked hundreds of times a month. Even while I was pregnant. I couldnt believe it, I was completely destroyed. He apologized and I stayed. Fast forward a bunch of years and everything is good. Until I go to the doctor to find out why I can't get pregnant. About 3 months after giving birth I went to the hospital in severe pain, turns out he had given me gonorrhea and the doctors treated me but forgot to mention it. That gonorrhea turned into PID and scarred my tubes shut. If I want a baby I'll need surgery or IVF which I'm not willing to go through for him. I forgave his infidelity because we were both young and dumb, but when I look at him now all I feel is hatred. He took away the ability for me to give my child a sibling and not only risked my life but the childs life, as the doctor believes he gave me the gonorrhea before or during pregnancy and that caused my preterm labor. He is an amazing father and provider, not abusive in the slightest bit. We both make our own money and have our own accounts but he pays a majority of the bills. I am in no way stuck and if I were to leave it would be simple. But my child is what keeps me with him. The joy of her having us both together trumps every feeling I have of pity for myself. Breaking the childs heart would break mine beyond repair, I know what's it's like to have to parents who dont even speak to each other and I would rather fake happiness for eternity than do that to my child. I'm afraid if I stay I will grow increasingly bitter towards him and hurt my child in the process. Any advice is welcome. Thank you.
tl;dr: my boyfriend's infidelity a few years back left me infertile and with an incurable sti, he is a great father and provider. My fear is that leaving him will leave me alone forever, not only do I have this disease but I cant even start a family with some one new. Should I risk being lonely or try and work it out for our childs sake.
Submitted March 31, 2019 at 06:06PM by 728659 https://ift.tt/2YHTnGn
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