My (F/30) sister in law (F/42) blames the hospital I work at for the death of her father (M/72.) It is causi g problems with family gatherings and on social media.

I have always gotten along well with my sister in law (huband’s brothers’s wife) at family gatherings but we have never been super close. Knowing I was a RN she would often talk to be about her struggles in helping her non-compliant, doctor hating father with his many heath problems (copd, smoking, high blood pressure, heart failure, multiple heart attacks, type 2 diabetes, etc.). I would occasionally recommend services but generally just listened to her vent.

This October her father apparently came down with influenza but refused to go to the doctor. She went over to check on him and found him unresponsive. She called 911 and he was brought to the hospital I work at where he was addmitted to the medical ICU after being intubated in the ER. He was diagnosed with sepsis due to pneumonia. He lived for a week longer but after multiple organ failure his family decided to with draw care and he died.

I work in thr cardiovascular ICU, but while he was in the hospital I stopped in a couple of times to see her and offer my support. Both time I stopped by I happened to know the nurses taking care of him because they sometimes work with me on the rapid response team.

Immediately after his death my sister in law called me screaming about how the hospital killed her dad and how I needed to look in his chart before they deleted the evidence. I tried to calmly explain that legally I cannot access the chart of someone I did not care for and offer my condolances. She screamed and swore at me and accused me of colluding with the hospital. I figured she was overwhelmed with grief and would come to her senses. Unfortunately it has just gotten worse.

She continues to maintain the hospital killed her dad. Her reasoning seems to only be that people do not die in this day in age from the flu and pneumonia. When I have attempted to educate her about misconceptions in her father’s care (for example that he could not eat because he had a breathing tube, and the hospital did not starve him because he had a feeding tube) she has become irate and insists I am part of the cover up. I soon realized it was pointless to argue with her and have tried calmly telling her I would not discuss it, avoiding her, and unfreinding her on social media as she began posting rants about how she had inside information about the hospital abusing patients and tagging me in them.

At this point she has stated that as long as I work for that hosptital I can no longer see her fAmily, including our nephew and niece. My husband’s brother and parents have all awknowleged that she is nuts, but have actually suggested that I quit my job to make thing easier because there are other hospitals in town I could work for. They have also said it is better if we don’t attend family functions or holidays becausw they want their grand kids there and she won’t come if I do. I have told my husband he can go without me but he refuses.

I guess there is not much I can really do so I don’t know what type of answers I am looking for. Is there anyway to attempt to effectively communicate with her? Should i attempt to talk to my in laws? Should I still send cards to my niece and nephew-who are in their teens and old enough to maybe know their mom is being crazy?

Tl;dr: My SIL blames the hospital I work at for her father’s death and has excommunicated me fron the family unless I quit.

Submitted March 31, 2019 at 06:56PM by Semperlie https://ift.tt/2CPagFI