Boyfriend [21M] is constantly stalking me [20F] on social media, snooping through my phone, and interrogating me about every little thing

throwaway because he knows my reddit account, of course. so my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 7 months now and he is my first serious relationship. i’m his first girlfriend ever. we live about an hour away so we see each other 1-2x a week. our relationship is pretty good, we occasionally fight about things including what i’m about to say but ultimately i love him and he does a lot for me.

the problem is he has been stalking me a lot on social media and i KNOW it’s at an unhealthy level. he wasn’t like this at the start of the relationship and it has recently gotten out of hand. he will do things like check my activity on snapchat and instagram, checks my twitter, and recently he found my main reddit account. not to mention he also has my location through my phone. he will be checking those things, and if he sees i liked something on twitter, for example, he will interrogate me about it. another example is he will check my activity on snap and instagram and if i was active but didn’t text or reply to him then he will interrogate me about that too, and be like “how come you were active but you didn’t reply to my texts?!?” if he sees that i went to the grocery store just to pick up something for 5 minutes, he will question me about that too. meanwhile, i barely check his activity online and location.

don’t even get me started on how he tries to snoop through my phone and my messages. he made me put his fingerprint in my phone so he always has access to it. whenever im with him i am always careful to take my phone with me so he doesn’t try to snoop. whenever he snoops, i get upset because i feel like he is invading my privacy. he accuses me of hiding things but i’m not! he then tells me, “if you aren’t hiding anything then it should be fine if i go on your phone”.

it is honestly really exhausting to always be nagged and interrogated for small little social media things. and i am getting creeped out that he is constantly checking it even when i tell him to stop. when i tell him to stop, he says that he is just curious and wants to be involved in my life, but i feel like i communicate with him pretty well. when he does this it makes me not want to talk to him. i tried to unshare my activity and location with him but he flips out and will not leave me alone until i share it back. so i have learned to just accept that he does this and comply to keep him happy, even though it’s not what i want at all.

i told him that he is acting insecure and clearly doesn’t trust me if he feels the need to stalk me all the time, and i tell him that he is making me feel uncomfortable. he always just shuts me down when i say how i feel, and he says “that’s just how i am, if you don’t like it then leave”

i need advice on how to have a conversation with him about how i’m feeling without him shutting me down and how to establish boundaries. this is literally driving me insane and i am so exhausted constantly feeling like i have to watch myself when i’m on my phone so i don’t get extra questions from him.

tldr: first serious relationship of 7 months. boyfriend [21M] is constantly snooping on my phone and stalking me [20F] on social media and interrogating me about what he sees and thinks i’m hiding things and not being honest with him but i’m not. need advice on how to have a conversation with him to establish boundaries and make him stop.

Submitted March 29, 2019 at 07:52PM by 99problemsandur1 https://ift.tt/2FLyF0J