For context: my partner and I have been together for 4 years and do not want to have kids. I'm actually disgusted by the idea of me being pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding and all of that for reasons I don't want to discuss. But I never talked about it to family so they don't know. I don't talk about myself much in general. My sister is 34, single, and has been baby crazy for several years, saying things like, oh I would even get impregnated by a stranger and be a single mother just so I can have a baby.
So we're at my brother's birthday party and after a few glasses of wine she approaches me and jokingly (? it wasn't funny in any way) asks, why don't you and [my boyfriend's name] have a child together? I just say, how about no. "I could babysit for it" she says. "I could adopt it and raise it. How about that?" I try to steer the topic away from the idea of me getting pregnant. I say something about children who don't have parents and wait for someone like her to come up, and why doesn't she adopt one. She says they give priority to couples and she's single, I tell her oh well, tough luck, and end the converstation.
It was rather disgusting to me, this whole conversation. I generally wish people didn't ask me when I'm going to have a child and things like that unless I bring the topic myself. But I'm generally not offended by these things because I know these people probably mean well and just don't know any better.
Now, my sister doesn't know how I feel about this whole pregnancy thing either because I never talked about it. But I would like to tell her tomorrow - when she's sober - that I wish she didn't suggest anything like that in the future. That I don't wish to discuss my plans as to what to do with my uterus, and I wish she didn't bring that up unless I do. I don't want to go into details of why these conversations bother me, though. Could anyone give me tips on how to say it so that it sounds assertive and she doesn't push me to explain myself. I'm afraid she'll just get defensive, say it was "just a joke, why are you so serious about it, it's normal to talk about pregnancy" etc.
tl;dr My baby-crazy sister suggested that my boyfriend and I have a kid so that she can adopt it. I don't want to have kids and am bothered by this. I want to make it clear to her that I don't want any such conversations again. Please send tips (and words of encouragement cos I'm bad at asserting myself).
Submitted March 30, 2019 at 01:04PM by CalamitysChild92 https://ift.tt/2I1qOO7
No comments:
Post a Comment