My husband (34M) treats me (29F) like a source of income, and I'm starting to hate him. How can I convey this?

tl;dr: Husband refused to let me quit my job and go back to school, but won't get a job himself (or a job he wants). I really want to leave him and start MY life. I've absolutely made up my mind to do so, but I guess I'm looking for advice on how to convey this to him.

Background: About six years ago, I dropped out of grad school (mainly due to depression) and moved across the US to be with my husband (at the time, my boyfriend). He was in a PhD. program, and was supposed to be done in 4 years. In that time, I've taken some really shitty and absolutely draining office jobs, and my health is starting to tank as a result (heart palpitations, weight gain and significant shoulder/back pain). The assumption, but never explicitly agreed upon, was that he would graduate school, get a job and then I could go back to school. Unfortunately, he has seemingly made no effort to get a job (or at least refuses to talk to me about it) and storms off when I ask him about it. Currently, I want to quit my job because I've been having suicidal thoughts related to it and because it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel for me. I pay for almost everything, and I have no money left over to save. Whenever I bring up wanting to go back to school, he's not supportive at all. I also greatly miss my family and friends.

I made a comment today about wanting to quit, and he just ignored me (he literally refused to respond). This makes me feel like I'm only around and only living to pay for his shit, and it's gotten to the point where I'm starting to actively hate him.

My concerns: Whenever I try to talk to him about anything that bothers me, he just overrules me and gaslights me - I'm also the one in the wrong. I'm trying to figure out how to say to him, clearly, why I'm leaving him. I'm concerned that he'll say that his field is overcrowded, there was no explicit agreement for me to go back to school, and that I'll be miserable either way. I also need words of encouragement that it's okay to leave him. I know, on an intellectual level, that it is.. but over the past six years my self-esteem has plummeted to zero and I always chicken out.

Submitted March 27, 2019 at 03:18PM by Mainecar https://ift.tt/2JJx9jv