My boyfriend Jason and I have been together for nearly 4 years. He’s not super close with his mom Anne, but she’s definitely a presence in our lives. They chat on the phone once a week and we see her on the major holidays.
She owns a bath product business and conducts the majority of her sales at trade shows each weekend around our area. Last year, she asked me if I had any friends who could help out over a weekend at a huge trade show. My friend Bianca offered. Anne agreed to pay cash and laid out the payment schedule to me to which Bianca agreed – I connected them and otherwise moved on with my life.
Cut to three months later, Bianca revealed to me that Anne had yet to pay her for her work (she was supposed to be paid at the end of each day). She told me she had followed up with Anne multiple times – she showed me screencaps of conversations where it was clear Anne was avoiding paying her, giving excuses about personal bills, etc. I was horrified. I told Jason, who called him mother immediately. Suddenly, Anne was on the phone with Bianca telling the money was definitely being transferred the next day. Of course, when the time came, she “forgot” how to e-transfer. Anne asked Jason to pay Bianca and she would pay us back. That was nearly a year ago and we haven’t seen that money since. I realize we bailed Anne out of that situation, but we could afford it at the time (it was $400 – not chump change but not life ending), and I just considered it a lesson learned to never help her out in that capacity again.
Cut to this week. I’ve recently been laid off from a toxic job but offered a few months severance. Since I would be off for a few months, my boyfriend and I decided to get a puppy. I’ve spent the past month training my dog, taking a couple community college courses, and working on my resume. It’s been great. I just received a message from Anne: “Hi – Wondering if you are busy Friday and Sunday. I’m in a show and need help. I’ll pay you right there each day.”
I don’t want to do this, for a few reasons. Friday truly is not realistic for me – I have an assignment due, a company has asked me to submit my resume for a position so I’d like take time to tailor it specifically, and of course, just watching our puppy. She didn’t inquire about Saturday because she thinks I’ll be helping her daughter move that day (I’ll actually be at home with the puppy).
If she had just said she needed help, I would be way more inclined – but by even making the promise of paying, my anger over the position she put me in with Bianca has re-emerged, and has reminded me we haven’t even been re-imbursed for that.
I’m looking on how to navigate this super uncomfortable situation. Jason is 100% on my side and knows that as nice as his mother is, she cannot run a business very well. He stepped in and handled the Bianca situation. He would with this as well, but she is going to continue to ask as long as I am off work, and I am not always going to have a legitimate reason. I’d love to figure out a respectful way to say that I can’t work for her, ever.
TL:DR: BF’s mom asked my friend to help her at a tradeshow for cash, and then didn’t pay her. Now, mom is asking me to work for her “for cash”.
Submitted March 27, 2019 at 08:35AM by little_latte https://ift.tt/2HKiUt8
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