Trigger Warning: (Pregnancy Loss Mentioned)
Last year I had a miscarriage followed by an ectopic pregnancy of twins (one in my uterus) and one in my left Fallopian tube where the uterine baby did not survive so I loss two pregnancies and three babies over the course of one year. During that time a dear friend of mine and his girlfriend with whom I am close were some of the only people who knew was was going on and I leaned heavily on their friendship during that time. Since then, I have gone on to have a living child who they have celebrated with me from afar as we moved cross country.
This past weekend I found out that she is 21 weeks pregnant with a little boy and am overjoyed for them as I know this baby will be loved beyond measure. While talking to them on Thanksgiving she revealed that being intimately involved with my grief during my losses and the anxiety that followed during my subsequent pregnancy ruined pregnancy for her and made her fearful and hard for her to enjoy her pregnancy with her son which is why they waited so long to tell me she was pregnant. I don't even know how to feel. For one thing, I feel guilty for having placed that burden on her but on the other hand, if the tables were turned I would be more than willing to help her work through her pain. I don't doubt her feelings but I don't really understand the purpose for her telling me and feel awful to the point that I have not spoken to either of them (we usually text daily and I usually initiate since I have young kids and we are in different time zones) although I did send them a little baby gift. I also don't really know how to proceed.
Has anyone gone through somethings similar? What's the best course of action? Let it go and continue on as normal? Give them some space and hopefully enjoy the rest of the pregnancy? I don't want to lose their friendship over this but I genuinely don't know how to proceed.
TL;DR : My friend told me that I ruined her current pregnancy by involving her in my pregnancy loss grieving process last year. I'm not sure how to best approach them and this situation without making it worse.
Submitted November 27, 2018 at 06:09PM by FreshlyPrinted87 https://ift.tt/2P3cgxi
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