I [25F] have friends, family and hobbies and am happily single. Yet I feel constantly sad and lonely

Yep. Basically I have been living on my own for 5 years. The beginning was great! I had just moved into a big exciting town and my first job was great. I wasn't in the least bit homesick and felt really great in my small shitty apartment.

Well this was fine for about 3 years. I'm not sure what happened then - I did switch to a new job, which is good as well. I get along with my coworkers and we joke around during the day. I have friends, including one best and pretty close friend, I regularly do social things, go out to party, I have hobbies and a good relationship & regular contact to my family..

and yet I often feel shitty and lonely. It usually happens when I'm alone and with nothing in particular to keep my mind busy. Like at work I'm usually fine, but even on the way home I can often feel my mood crash. Then at home distraction does work somewhat, but sometimes I just get really sad in the evenings. I sometimes get these intense feelings of being completely alone and abandoned. Like I don't belong anywhere.

But that doesn't reflect the facts. I could literally call my mom right now, we're going on vacation together in 2 weeks. I just saw my best friend today. I will meet another group of friends tomorrow. My social life is fine. So why do I still feel so shitty?

Yes I am single, but tbh I have never been very interested in romantic relationships. I've dated around but never really found it worth my time. I am more focused on platonic and 'family-like' relations. So I don't think the lack of a boyfriend is a huge factor in this if at all. I do generally enjoy living alone because I like the freedom and independence.

By all accounts it seems like I shouldn't feel lonely. Recently I've also been having a lot of dreams that somehow deal with the issue of friendships. I don't think you need to psychoanalyse every dream or that they necessarily mean something deep - but there has been a surge of dreams in which I meet a cool group and get into all kinds of adventure with them or something. These have in common the feeling of closeness and familiarity I feel during the dream.

I guess it could mean I just need more friends? But then also, I normally enjoy evenings alone and stuff like gaming alone...

sooo whatever the heck is happening. Any tips/ideas?

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**tl,dr:** I have been regularly feeling alone, abandoned & sad in the last 2 years or so. Doesn't seem to reflect reality as I do have friends and social hobbies. What is going on?

Submitted November 15, 2018 at 12:16PM by driovous https://ift.tt/2zSs68m