Ages: ~21 Genders: Male Relationship length: 2 years friends roommates for half year
As someone who values alone time and not being socially dependent on someone I find my roommate/friend to be clingy and want some perspective on this.
I've been living with my close friend and roommate for a whole semester and I feel like if he had it his way we would hang out with me 24/7.
•We're in a club at school together so our friends overlap a bit. This means unless he's out of town he's at all social events with me so I see a lot of him. (that's fine) •Whenever Im in my room and I go into the hallway he always comes out to talk and if I'm in the common area he's always talking to me. •If I tell him I'm going to something he wants to go. If he's going to something he invites me. •If I tell him I'm going to get lunch with someone he only kinda knows his first question is: why wasn't I invited? (He asked me this today despite the fact I've only hung out without him like once this semester and that was because he was out of town) And he acted weird about it and seemed to need reassurance I dont dislike him. •Whenever I'm not at the house he uses Snapchat maps to check my location and then asks me about it when I get home. (I turned off the feature now) •If he hangs out with someone without me (usually because I tell him I'm too busy to go) he'll mentioned that they talked about me (not in a negative way) •He will never go to bed first if I'm up in the common room he will always stay up with me until I go to bed despite the fact he likes to go to bed early. •If I laugh in my room with the door closed and he's in the hallway he'll ask me what I'm laughing about or if I call someone on the phone he'll ask me later who it was. • He'll go to things he's not interested in just because I'm going •the only times I hangout with other people that's not him is for school organization leadership meetings or work related/ volunteer events. •ect.
I've already once communicated to him that I need alone time and sometimes and since then he doesn't knock on my door that much to ask me nothing questions. He's told me he has FOMO and that he knows it's bad but he gets jealous when I have other friends but he's working on it.
He's told me I'm perfect and he seems to want to be like me and is low-key jealous that I'm more socially outgoing and have other friends. I feel like he idolizes me and is a bit too obsessed with our relationship.
How do I facilitate more social independence? How do I communicate that I want more social independence without making our relationship awkward or sounding like I don't like him. He's sensitive and insecure. Despite all this I do enjoy his company and we've had a lot of great times together. He's one of my closest friends and I'm quite grateful for him but too much of anything is a bad thing imo. Are my demands reasonable or am I being rude by not wanting to have almost everything I do be with him?
TLDR: How to deal with obsessive clingy roommate who wants to be around you 24/7 while still remaining close friends?
Submitted December 03, 2021 at 12:52AM by roundaboutroad https://ift.tt/3de0lv1
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