Hello everyone! Actually, a lot has happened since the post. Most of the commenters were right. I stumbled upon this account on my old tablet, and I cringed so hard at myself and how pathetic and desperate I sound in the post.
Link to previous post - https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/anpxtv/how_to_be_fine_with_the_fact_that_your_so_is_only/
TL;DR of previous post - My SO says that she isn't physically attracted to me, only emotionally.
I was 21 back then, she was 20. I am a cis male, she has the pronouns she/they. So I guess non-binary, I am not really sure.
Anyway, what ended up happening was that some harsh comments were really more like a reality check for me. I talked to her, she insisted that she did love me in the way a person loves a romantic partner, but the boundaries were more blurred for her. At the time, I was part of the problem as well. My insecurities made me push her to admit that she was attracted to me when we never even met each other properly. We talked some more, and then she moved to my city. That is when she really started acting like she was attracted to me, and even though we never went the whole way (she was not ready), we basically did everything except PIV. Some red flags popped up here and there, but it was genuinely a lot of fun to be with her and to be 'in love' so I just let everything slide. We were in a proper relationship with labels for like 6 months out of the 1 year we spent together. 6 months without labels. The highs were monumental and the lows were so low. One of the conditions she had was that she wanted to remain friends even if we broke up, even if we dated other people. I did not see that happening, because why would I want to be around while she dates other people? It was so absurd to me, nobody I know remained best friends with their ex. This caused a lot of issues and arguments.
Eventually, she started talking to this 30-year-old dude on Instagram, and I see alarm bells. She was talking to him 24/7, and I communicated my discomfort, but it was more emotional for her. She eventually wanted a 'break' and said that it was because she wanted to rehearse being without me, but I did not accept it and cut contact and broke up. She kept messaging me and eventually stopped talking to the 30-year-old. I gave her an ultimatum, she has to go to therapy because I was tired of being her emotional support animal, or I will not get back together with her. She agreed after a lot of back and forth.
This opened a whole new can of worms. She started on medications after moving back to her hometown (she dropped out of the course she was doing in my city), and it was like this new person emerged. This new person had very little empathy and was horny as fuck. She wanted to sext all the time, and wanted to lose her virginity ASAP, and wanted me to visit her. I could not do it because I was busy with my own problems, and after the whole 30-year-old man debacle, I just did not trust her anymore. She knew all of this. She then cheated on me with a girl. How did I find out? I had a gut feeling. I confronted her, and she said that it did not matter as we were long distance anyway, and she wanted someone to physically hold her. At this point, I can only fault myself for sticking around for so long. She felt that now that she was mentally healthy, she could date and explore herself. The whole relationship was such a monumental waste of time and mental resources. She did not need a boyfriend, she needed a therapist. This time, though, things truly ended. We were together all of 2019. The relationship ended in January 2020. To be clear, she did clarify that she is not bisexual or lesbian. She just liked the attention that the girl gave her and once they set up a date she wanted to experience it, or so she says.
As of 2021, the last message I got from her was in August. She wanted to remain friends with benefits, or be friends at least. That she regrets everything, but it was going to happen eventually. We have interacted a little, but it is not relevant to the post. We do not have any contact with each other now.
TL;DR for update: My pathetic self stayed with her. She started therapy, cheated on me.
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:57AM by Shatteredtobits https://ift.tt/3oogl4z
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