I (22 F) don’t know whether to try to fix my 5 year long relationship with (23 M) boyfriend or to wait until our lease is up to break up.
I made a comprehensive list of good and bad things about what he contributes to our relationship, and I was being extremely generous with the good things he does until I realized he barely even does the bare minimum.
For example- He’s mean to me almost constantly and gets angry about the littlest things. I put olives in the spaghetti sauce last night and he got angry that I didn’t remember he doesn’t like olives, tossed his already made plate of food onto the counter and stormed off. I asked if he wanted me to make him something else, and he said I shouldn’t bother because he’ll be too pissed off to eat it. Adding on, he just says rude things to me unwarranted and tries to pass them off as “jokes”, or just makes jokes at my expense whenever we’re around other people.
Once I was trying to talk to him across the house while I was cooking, didn’t know he was taking a video of something, and he screams at me “Can you just shut the fuck up?”
There are so many other things that basically just boil down to me not being a priority to him, his only priority being himself or playing video games- (Don’t mind the video games, but every single day as soon as he gets home from work and days off he ignores me while he plays Xbox with his friends on game chat. He thinks me being in the same room as him while he does this is spending time together and gets angry at me for asking to actually spend time together. He values video games more than me, I just want to be able to talk to him more than twice a day.)
Or the other thing it would boil down to is no reciprocation. He treats me badly, hasn’t remembered any important dates like our anniversary or birthdays, never expresses interest in anything I like (although I try to do this for him even though I genuinely do not care about some of the things he likes, like armor sets his characters are wearing in games. I’ll say “I like X thing that he’s wearing, the pattern is cool. What’s this and that?”. But I can’t even remember the last time he complimented me for something other than my body or asked me about anything that interests me. I’ll try to offer info about my interests to start the dialogue, but only ever get “that’s nice” or “cool”)
There are other things that fall under the two categories above, but the basic jest is that I’m putting a lot of effort into a one sided relationship.
The bare minimum that he does is basically just cleans very rarely without being asked. When we go places together he drives so that I don’t have to because I was in several car accidents that have made me nervous about driving. He doesn’t force me to do sexual things I don’t want to do because I was abused as a child. And that’s pretty much it, anything else is just basic bare minimum.
I’m not sure if I should bother trying to fix this with someone who clearly doesn’t care, but I can’t help but to think about the way things used to be when he cared and treated me well. I want that again, but I feel like I’m the only one trying.
The other option would be to wait until our lease is up next summer to break up.
If I broke up with him now I would have to move back in with my parents, which is an hour away from my new job. I’m not sure if so could handle an hour drive to and from (2 hours round trip) work with long hours and trying to earn my bachelors degree all at once.
As well, there’s a hefty fine for breaking the lease that I just can’t afford.
So which option should I choose?
TL/DR: Should I try to fix my 5 year relationship with bare minimum effort boyfriend or just wait until our lease is up to break up with him?
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 07:12AM by No-Construction751 https://ift.tt/3inUfeu
No comments:
Post a Comment