Hi everyone!
23yo guy here, just got out of college.
I’m a pretty introverted person, I cherrish my alone time and I like to just enjoy a movie alone, gaming a lil, just browsing the internet or just day dreaming and relaxing.
Since I began living with my girlfriend (f23), I have approximately zero time alone. Also she’s very needy, so just doing stuff my myself is hard because she’ll most of the time ask me to do stuff with her.
When I grab my laptop and my headphones, she’ll go « What are you doing?? » and just jump on me so I give her attention. (My older posts are outdated, she’s much easier to live with now but I still have my issue with me having mostly no alone time).
I pretty much accepted that lifestyle, but I still find time to watch tv shows and stuff as much as I can. But I always feel she’s « upset » when I do, I dunno.
It’s ok now but a few years ago she was very very needy, clingy and it was too much.
Now about my issue.
Since we’ve been together for approx 4 years, I got to visit her family a few times, maybe like 10 times now. I met her mom, dad, brothers, grandmas, grandpas (kinda), aunt, uncle, cousin.. But mostly her Mom and grandma.
They are nice people, and I like them and they like me. That isn’t the issue. But it’s important to state that.
They’re a VERY extroverted and tight linked family. Family is very important for all of them and they keep constant contact.
When they’re together at their grandma’s home, they spend most of their time (approx 70%) just discussing together or in groups.
Dinner takes at least 1h30 each time and they talk a looooot. They have strong opinions on pretty much everything on earth and things get heated quickly quite often.
They’re also very oriented on personalities and behavior and will often ask me why I’m so silent sometimes, how I act while with my family, etc.. It can be pretty annoying sadly.
Her mom is very VERY gluey, like she’ll most of the time come where we are and talk with us, and make remarks, and suggestions, and on, and on…
They’re all kinda gluey as they’re pretty much all following each other around the house just talking and talking..
The issue is that it just very frickin tiring for me. Just so, so, SO tiring. Literally exhausting, social battery draining.
It’s hard to stay focus during dinner time because they all talk so much and it lasts sooo long..
I can be more tired than most people because I take buprenorphine because of my past heroin addiction (I’m good now).
But it’s mostly because I’m introverted which makes all that a lot to bear.
I can’t just leave the table also because they’re all together and they’ll find it a lil awkward and impolite. This family just works like this, it’s pretty much the opposite of my family.
Of course they wouldn’t be mad if I left the table or avoided discussions but they would get weirded out or upset, etc. And I’m the only one not in the family so I feel like I have to behave.
With all that I still went to visit them quite a few times with my gf, only during vacation time tho!
The issue now is that the family is gathering for my gf’s older brother’s birthday, at their mom’s. EVERYONE will be there.
My gf wants me to go with her as always as I never had a good excuse not to go, so I always complied..
She wants us to stay several days, minimum 4 days I think.
I honestly don’t want to. The other times I went and stayed 1 to 2 weeks but because it was the holiday and all the family wasn’t always there at once. Still it was very tiring at times.
But this time I’m really asking myself why I should go. I mean it’s her brother’s birthday, I’m not in the family ffs. I would be the only guest here, and I would have to stay for SEVERAL days with all the family reunited. I could enjoy the time alone while my gf would go but noooo, like always she wants me to come.
It’s not like I have a choice too, because if I tell her I don’t wanna go she’ll get mad and will make me feel guilty like she knows how to do EXTREMELY well.
I feel like I should not be forced to go just for this one special family occasion. I went when it was my gf’s birthday every times, I went on holidays times but why would I must go this time, I wonder..
I wish I had more time alone. They’ve become practically non existent since i’ve been with her as we live in a one room studio.
Would really appreciate your opinion on this! Thank you ! (also I’m french so sorry for the bad english sometimes)
TL;DR: SO wants me to go visit her whole family once again for her brother’s birthday and stay there for several days, but I refuse because living with them is very tiring for me and I get no alone time as usual. Need your opinion on this.
Submitted October 25, 2021 at 03:26AM by owcooldog https://ift.tt/3vIEbJH
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