Sorry, this is sort of a long post but I want you readers to have the full picture of what's been going on.
To give you a little bit of the back story. My ex wife cheated on me several times and left me for a guy she met at the gym back in the beginning of 2017. We were divorced by June of 2018. I found out after our divorce about a few more men she slept with before we got separated. Apparently, half the people in our small town knew what was going on and no one thought it was their place to say anything to me. Anyway, the guy she left me for ended up being very abusive. By the end of 2017 she finally admitted to what was going on and had come to me for help. I told her that she could move back in with the kids and I, and that I would do everything I could to help her get away from the abuse. After a couple months of her still getting pulled back in with the abusive boy friend and constantly going back and forth between our house and the road-side motel the boy friend lived at, she wanted me to drop the divorce but I told her that I couldn't do that. I told her that she could stay living with us for as long as she needed, even after the divorce, but that the divorce had to continue.
Once she knew that I was not backing down on the divorce, she has set out to make my life hell in any way she possibly can. She has sabotaged every relationship I've tried to have, she talks bad about me in front of our 4 children or even directly to them. She has harassed the women I've dated, demanding their personal information, (full legal name, home address, phone number, and social security number). She claimed that she had a legal right to their information and that she legally was allowed to run a background check on anyone that would be alone with our children or drive them anywhere. She talks badly to our children about whoever I'm dating. She would show up at my house unannounced and just walk in the front door without ringing the doorbell or knocking first. If she knew I was out with someone I was dating, she would intentionally start harassing me over text and email with some argument pertaining to our kids. If she knew I was home with someone I was dating (during her parenting week), she would intentionally show up at my house unannounced and let the kids come running into my house. These are just a few examples of the things she does. Most recently, she has now taken me back to court to try and get full custody of our children. Currently, we have a 50/50 agreement.
I have only dated 3 women since my divorce. The first woman I dated was someone that I met literally one week after my divorce. We became friends and hung out only as friends for the first couple of months. I had just finalized my divorce and she was still in the middle of hers. I told her when we first met that I was not ready to date and she said the same. During this time, because we were not romantically involved, she had met my children. When our feelings for each other became more, we started dating but it only last a couple months. She had one run-in with my ex wife. One week, during my parenting time, I was at work, and my kids were at my parents house. My kids wanted to go to my girl friends house to play. So my girl friend went and picked them up. My ex wife found out that my kids were not at my parents house and demanded to know where they were. I told her they were at a friends house playing with other kids. She immediately demanded my girl friends personal information insisting that she had a right to do a background check on her. I of course told her that I wasn't going to give her the information. She was making such a stink about it that she showed up at my parents house demanding that our children be brought back there immediately. My girl friend didn't want to cause any problems, so she drive my kids back to my parents house. My ex wife was there in the driveway. She immediately got right in my girl friends face and started yelling and cursing at her right in front of the kids. She was demanding my girl friends personal information. My girl friend told her that she wasn't comfortable giving her the information, but that she would respect her wishes as a mother, and she would not drive my kids anywhere or be alone with them again in the future. My ex didn't care and said that because she had already driven them, she had a right to this information. My father had to step in between them because he was afraid that my ex wife was going to hit my girlfriend. After this, my girl friend ended our relationship, she told me that she couldn't deal with having that in her life. I couldn't blame her. We are still very good friends to this day.
It was about 8 months later before I dated anyone. This relationship lasted almost a year. I learned from my previous (short lived) relationship and did everything I could to keep my ex wife away from this woman. Once this woman met my kids, and my kids started telling their mother how much they liked this woman, that's when the harassment started. My ex wife showed up at my house one night when she knew I wasn't home and my girl friend was here alone with my kids. My ex wife walked into my house without knocking or ringing the doorbell and began harassing my girl friend (in front of the kids), demanding her personal information. My girl friend tried to have the conversation moved to the other room away from the kids by my ex wife insisted that they be present for the conversation. My girl friend was feeling extremely pressured and ended up giving my ex wife all of her personal information. Needless to say, it didn't take long for my ex wife to start texting my girl friend and calling her. My ex would talk bad about me all the time to her. This of course was causing major problems in our relationship. That plus the other issues in our relationship, I decided to end the relationship. We are also still friends to this day.
Now, for the main reason for this post.
Last October I started dating someone. Getting to know this person has been the most amazing experience. We connected on so many levels. I have never in my entire life been in a relationship like this one. Not one red-flag, not one argument, just an amazing relationship. Once again, as soon as my ex wife found out I was dating someone, she started harassing me. I was able to keep my new relationship away from my ex. They never met or spoke to each other. So because my ex wife couldn't sabotage that way, she started talking badly about this woman to our children. She would tell our son that I didn't care about him anymore and that all I wanted to do was spend time with my new girl friend and her 4yo son. She would tell our daughters that I didn't care about them anymore because all I wanted to do is spend time with my new girl friend. Mind you, during this time, my girl friend had not even met my kids yet. So, during my parenting weeks, I did not see my girl friend at all. During a court hearing for our current custody battle, my ex wife started saying horrible lies about my girl friend and her son. Telling the judge that she is mean to my kids and that she doesn't respect them, and that her 4yo son is horrible, and that all of my kids told my ex wife that they hated my girl friend. All of it of course was a lie. At the time of this court hearing my girl friend had only been around my kids a total of 8 times. She had some over for dinner a few times with her son and we met her and her son out at some parks a few times. Unfortunately, my girl friend was in the next room when I was on the zoom call for this court hearing. So she heard everything that was said about her. This was the beginning of the end of our relationship. She ended it a few weeks later and said that she's in love with me but, she could not take having that kind of stuff in her life.
I don't know what to do to force my ex wife to stop doing what she does. I have brought it up in court, I've spoken to my lawyer, I've sent my ex wife emails and texts asking her to stop, but nothing seems to work.
Edit:
My ex wife does not live with me anymore. She has her own house and has been dating someone since the beginning of 2019
The locks on my house were changed the day she moved out. The front door has a smart lock that locks automatically after 3 minutes. Unfortunately, with 4 kids running in and out all day. Sometimes the front door is left partially opened preventing the deadbolt from automatically locking.
I do not have any communication with her unless it is directly related to our children.
Since she started this most recent custody battle, she has not been in my house. She no longer walks in unannounced and uninvited.
I have cameras covering the entire outside and most of the inside of my house.
tldr; Ex wife cheated and left me for an abusive guy. When she left the abusive guy and wanted to come back, I wouldn't stop the divorce. Now she sabotages and tries to ruin any relationship I try to have. I don't know what to do to make her stop.
Submitted August 25, 2021 at 07:44AM by sciroccojc https://ift.tt/2XLjOyD
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