I’ve been with my wife for 9 years, married 5. Our sex life, which used to be regular (3 times per week) in the first few years of marriage, has slowly dwindled to once every few months. I initiate sex one hundred percent of the time, and am semi regularly rejected.
I try foreplay, kissing, or conversation to try to set the mood, but she has stood up and walked away from me, as well as rolling over in bed and turning on her phone. The rejection always stings and leaves me afraid to initiate for a while. She’s aware of this, as I’ve brought it up before (which usually leads to sex, which I can’t help but feel is pity sex, or her doing me a favor).
A few nights ago, I attempt to initiate foreplay, and she told me she was tired (she works very hard, both from home and at an office). I asked if there was anything I could do to help her relax, and floated the idea of giving her oral sex.
The mood completely changed. She got very serious, didn’t say anything, left the room and washed up. When she came back, she laid back and presented herself to me. Without a word. So I started going down on her. It was fine at first, but she did this deep, frustrated (annoyed?) sigh at one point, after which she practically crushed my head by squeezing it with her legs. I looked up at her and she had a glare on her face. We’ve had plenty of sexual experiences, including oral, and she has never given me that look. It looked like she hated me. I actually stopped for a second, but she grabbed my head and started to grind on my face. It hurt, but I just kind of laid there and let it happen.
When she finished, she brought her legs up, put her feet on my shoulders, and pushed me away. A few seconds later she grabbed her phone. Like I’d been “dismissed.” I went to the bathroom to wash my face and realized my nose was bleeding from how aggressively she was rubbing again me. Not gushing blood, but it was there.
She was browsing the internet on her phone when I went back in the room, and eventually shut off the lights and went to sleep. Not one word to me. I felt horrible, and had been laying besides her staring at the ceiling. Was she angry at me for pestering her? We haven’t had any fights, we have fairly regular communication, and this really felt out of nowhere. She knows rejection and a general lack of sex has been frustrating for me, but we otherwise get along great. And it hasn’t been something I’ve brought up in the past six months or so.
The next morning she was super chatty with me, seemed energized, and was eager to talk about world news, her work schedule, plans for the weekend. But she didn’t mention the night before.
I feel like I’m going crazy about it. Part of me is afraid to bring it up, because I feel like it wasn’t as bad as it felt to me. But the other part of me… I don’t get it. Something is clearly wrong, and I don’t know what to do.
I’m sure I’m leaving out details that would better explain the incident, and I understand that this is only my perspective, but I’m at a total loss on how to go forward. I would appreciate any advice or perspective.
tl;dr: talked wife into oral sex, she got weirdly aggressive, we haven’t talked about it. I feel humiliated on a number of levels.
Submitted August 02, 2021 at 11:07PM by brokestrin https://ift.tt/3illN4F
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