My(24F) boyfriend(28M) is still married and paying child support on a kid that isn't his but makes no moves to try and deal with it anymore.

Hello everyone, so this is going to sound kind of strange but I'm wondering if anyone has been in this same position and am looking for some advice.

So way back when(I not exactly sure when because he won't give me all the details) my boyfriend was with this girl that abused him and had a child from a previous relationship. They dated for a couple years I think and then my boyfriend was going to go into the military and the only way for them to come live on base with him was if they got married. So they did.

Sometime later, could have been days, weeks, I don't know but very soon after the marriage was finalized, she ran away and supposedly disappeared.

A year after that, he is informed that he has to start paying child support because she had a baby and she put his name on the birth certificate.

He attempted to divorce her then, but he says that he couldn't get to the courthouse the day they were going to go in (he doesn't have a license and the court he needed to go to was over an hour away in a blizzard).

Since then he supposedly has never been able to contact her again and tried to go to court to get a paternity test and all that but they supposedly refused him since they weren't divorced and since he didn't know where she was he said he couldn't serve her the divorce papers(I don't know how true this is though because my mother was homeless and couch surfing with no address and my dad was still able to give the court 300 bucks to serve her divorce papers)

Anyways. So after that it sounds like he just stopped trying to do anything about it. Flash forward to about 7 months ago. My boyfriend and I had been together for a year and a half at that point and she got ahold of him on snapchat saying that she was ready to get the divorce and she would sign the papers that say the kid isn't his. Great, right? Well she never showed. Disconnected her phone right after that after she got his new work and living info(most likely for updated child support stuff im assuming) and we never heard from her again.

Now I am pregnant with our child and I want this death with before the baby comes in December. My father told me that if he hasn't taken care of it by then that I shouldn't put my boyfriends name on the birth certificate.

Everytime I bring it up, which isn't very often, maybe once every few months, he just tells me "well nobody will help me until I find her" and if I ask what he's been doing to try and take care of this he just plays the poor me card and we end up moving onto another topic.

It really seems like he doesn't even care about it anymore which honestly makes me think he really is the father of the child.

Has anyone else ever been in this kind of situation? How did you deal? Is there anyway that I can help him with this even though he tells me to just leave it alone?

Sorry for the little bit of rambling but I wanted to try and include all the information I knew as well as it just gets me heated thinking about it.

TLDR: My boyfriend and I are expecting a child while he is still technically married and paying child support on a child that he claims isn't his. Looking for ways I can help him out of the situation or motivate him to actually do something before our baby comes.

Submitted July 01, 2021 at 04:53PM by NinjaCoffee https://ift.tt/2TlDPKA