Hi.I, 28F had a challenging conversation with my stepbrother (24) today.
It seems he is doing some therapy work and uncovered some suppressed memories surrounding our early childhood explorations. We were extremely close, and played imaginary games whenever we were together. From my recollection we had a richly vivid, and healthy world of play.
I am unable to access too many of the memories myself but it seems that there was a brief(?) period of time where a line was crossed. He would have been 5, I was 9.
My heart is broken, as it seems that this actually created some trauma for him. There is some suppressed shame, and naturally, a feeling of violation that is just now starting to resurface. I meanwhile don't hold the same degree of affect for this incident. It felt as normal as any of the other instances of doctor/curiosity exchange that I personally experienced littered throughout my childhood.
I want to do my part to take accountability as best I can for my 9 year old self and the er's I made in judgment. Obviously therapy is a beginning. I want to offer to pay for his therapy, as well as support him as best as I can in getting the tools for resolve so he can feel clear and come to a closure with some of the residues of shame + indignity.
How can I best honour him and this painful experience. Will this require me claiming myself as an abuser? I have no issue with taking accountability, and am willing to play my necessary part in providing the acknowledgment and reparations needed for his personal healing journey.
TLDR: Me and my younger bro crossed a line, we played "Doctor", and he has been suppressing/holding onto those feelings for many years. I want to support him to heal.
Submitted March 21, 2021 at 08:04PM by StrangerRemarkable18 https://ift.tt/3128MUh
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