My(24) online girlfriend of 4 years turned out to be my friend (25) catfishing me and I'm now stuck living and working with him after moving to the other side of the state for my new job.

I'd first like to apologize if this is not the correct sub for this as well as agree that I am a complete moron. As unbelievable as it is for someone to be this stupid, this is indeed true.

This all started when I was a senior in high school and met Joe (names changed). We had a class in common and over time became friends as we had many interests in common. After spending some time getting along and him broaching the topic of role-playing, he found out I was interested in it and introduced me to a mute (yes, really) online friend I'll call Sarah.

While things were going decently with Joe and nothing of note ever really happened, my relationship with Sarah was strained Initially for reasons I never really deciphered to this day. As a couple months passed however, this was soon fixed and we began growing closer into what I would consider rather close friends due to her personality being basically being a female version of Joe's and my close relationship with him (I know).

For about a year things were rather quiet with me spending time with each of them but they were never on at the same time in hindsight. The one time I requested to play a game together, one of them left halfway through (as I believe now it was too intensive to manage playing two roles at once). As I got to know Sarah and we spent time building world together and playing characters that ended up romantically involved she confronted me on having feelings for her and I realized that I in fact did.

On becoming aware of my feelings, I admitted to them and I was Initially met with refusal from Sarah. As it turns out, Sarah was in a relationship with Joe and even though she admitted she had feeling for me as well, she couldn't break up with him. I was heartbroken but reluctantly gave in to respect her wishes and protect my friendship with Joe. Unfortunately due to her admission that she shared my feelings, how well we got along, and the continued romantic role-playing, I was unable to.

The atmosphere between Sarah was noticeably tense after the revalation but we managed to balance it and continue to get along despite the rejection. After about another year of this situation passed I was asked if I still held feelings for her and I confirmed that this was the case. To my surprise she admitted that she still did as well and that she was going to break up with Joe so that she could be with me as my first girlfriend

I feel ashamed to admit that my euphoria at finally being accepted by the one I longed for so much overshadowed my guilt towards getting into a relationship with my close friend's girlfriend. Oddly enough he did not seem to be too upset about the situation and I did not seek to discuss it unless necessary to avoid opening old wounds as well as being far too happy.

Though I believed only good times were to come by having both a good friend and my best friend of a girlfriend, I was rather gullible as I realize I still am. I had not mentioned it in detail until now but my characters were often emotionally tortured by Sarah most often through killing off those important to them or revealing they had grown disinterested in them and began cheating. This kind of emotional manipulation ended up continuing onto our own relationship where I had to essentially walk on eggshells around her, was almost always in the wrong, and i believe I was gaslit a fair bit to put things lightly

You would think I would leave the relationship and we often had arguments to in which we did. Whether it be from the smallest things in which she got upset about which i believe she punished me with breaking up or a boundary that was crossed one too many times on my end; we were rather on and off. In the end we always ended coming back to each other as we were the only ones who knew each other so well and the good times were so great.

Despite multiple cancelations on meeting up, fake pics being sent, and overall horrible treatment I was so stuck in the fog I stayed with it. Oddly enough, over the last year and a half we actually grew to have an extremely strong relationship once she realized how horrible she was and tried to improve as a result. We still had fights sometimes but pretty normal and minor ones which we worked through and became stronger for or so I believed

As I finally moved out of state and got my first real job where I could room with and work with my still good friend Joe, things couldn't have been better. It all came crashing down once I realized that the day after I had flown in and the first day of my job; I had checked to see if Sarah had sent any messages only to find that all forms of contact with her had been lost. We only had interaction through apps such as Skype, Steam, and Discord as she was averse to using phones.

In the end, in a panic to see if Joe still hadn't been removed and a gut feeling which had been the source of many arguments with Sarah, I checked Joe's computer while he was at work.

At first I found nothing incriminating and was relieved but to be sure, I thoroughly searched Joe's computer for things only Sarah could have. Much to my dismay; in the end, I found exactly what I was looking for. All means of communication that were in common were weirdly logged out of, one of them had the same username I know she used,and most damningly; the same exact email logged into with emails reporting account deletions that occurred before he went to work and while I was asleep in a bedroom just a couple feet away.

I was initially in denial and more importantly had the first day of my job to attend so despite being faces with the cold hard evidence I tried to ignore it and somehow reason it out. I threw myself into it and tried to ignore it, not wanting to believe it. I even interacted with and joked around with Joe like normal. When I tested his reaction by saying that I was ghosted he seemed legitimately upset with Sarah. When we got off, I continued to test him and while he gave questionable responses to my hidden questioning he still seemed so truly upset for me. In the end he slipped up however, using her old steam account which had hundred of dollars worth of games supposedly gifted to him before the ghosting. On top of this, the email he was using was the exact same as Sarah's and I when I questioned him about it he said it was just the same picture as I would dare not force it any further. After he fell asleep I once again checked once again only for that to be proven wrong and that at some point in his search history he had opened her email when he got back before me.

I don't know what to do. I need help reddit. I'm worried I might be in danger and even if I'm not, i don't think I can stay with someone who's lied to me almost the entire time since I've known him. I just got this job I've needed for so long and even if I can somehow get away, I'd need to deal with him at work.

Tl;DR: The man who just got me my job and I just moved in with turns out to have lied and been my first girlfriend that I met online.

Edit: Thank you all for the support so far. I'm trying to keep up with the comments as much as I can but it's starting to reach a degree I can't keep up with on mobile.

Multiple clarifications I would like to make regarding the role-playing and my supposed seducing of sarah.

1. Sarah started the romantic interactions, I had no idea it was such until I was in the middle of it.

2. In role-playing communities its incrediy common for this to happen even for women who are in a committed relationship.

3. Joe was aware of the nature of the roleplays and was fine with it.

4. I never made any conscious decisions to flirt with her. I was just an idiot and didnt know how obvious to read it was. I backed off after I was rejected.

5. After behaving normally for a while she once again asked me if I still had feelings for her and I said I did. She decided to be with me. I only started expressing them openly after this.

Submitted March 25, 2021 at 06:01PM by ThrowawayCatfishMove https://ift.tt/3rmpAzV