Me [33F] with my wife [30F]. She is a very frequent verbal processor, and it's becoming more than I can take in.

Wife is a verbal processor- always has been and always will be. I'm more the opposite, but still make space to listen to her. With having been locked down for the past year or so, that's led to many many more opportunities for 'verbal dumps'. Especially in the past few months, as her job has been really frustrating, it seems like at least 5 times a day she's telling me something frustrating/annoying/obnoxious/overwhelming about her job.

Now, her job is challenging. I know that. And I want to be there for her and let her process. But it's happening SO much- she'll just start going on with, if I'm being totally honest, complaint after complaint and 0 reflection of her role or accountability. I mean that sincerely. It's only ever about other people. And when I try to respond with anything other than "that sounds really hard", then I'm being invalidating and it turns into a row. But I simply don't have the capacity to be talked at this much, and being asked to follow a scripted response of "that sounds really hard".

I've brought it up multiple times that it's over capacity for me, and she keeps saying "I know I know, I need to find other people to vent to" but nothing is really changing. If anything, it's getting worse.

Am I a total asshole for even trying to set boundaries? Should I just be the sounding board at her beck and call?

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tl;dr: She's a verbal processor anyway, way more so since lockdown, but it's becoming too much negativity for me and I just feel talked at, not with.

Submitted March 02, 2021 at 01:17PM by Energy-Perfect https://ift.tt/3uQkaQA