[Update] How can I [31/M] stop being shallow and enjoy relationship with 26/F more?

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/elcov0/how_can_i_31m_stop_being_shallow_and_enjoy/

My post didn't gain much traction in this sub. I got some responses in another sub, but anyway, for people that like to read updates and see how things turned out, I will offer you my update nontheless.

TLDR of my first post: I'd been single for 9 years, met a girl that was mad about me, and I know I am shallow, very shallow, and this made it hard to enjoy the relationship because my brain annoyed me everytime I saw an attractive person. When I am single, my stupid brain can always say "there is a chance someone like that will like you eventually."

Update: I assumed this would happen, but I am very glad that it did. The more time we spend together, the more "beautiful" my girlfriend becomes. Yes I can see people that are genetically gifted still, but it doesn't upset me in the same way anymore, since I know that I want to stay with GF.

Being with somebody is just so much more than just looking at them, and this is the weird part, my GF is beautiful, is just that, as with almost all people, obviously you can find somebody more attractive. And if you have never had anything real in 9 years, you only value the superficial, because you don't know about the rest, you don't experience the rest.

With my GF it's a breeze, it's effortless, it just works, and I would be a fool for throwing that away, even if we say a instgram superstar would go after me. Being with someone is just so much more than just being attracted to them, you have to make your whole life work together.

It's not just about who you want to have sex with, that's part of it, but that's such a small part of the day. I mean, even if you have sex every day, it's 30 minutes of your day, the rest 23,30 have to be about something else, so you can't just value people based on how they look.

TLDR of this post: My shallow brain is giving up, it knows it is wrong, and I have started to value everything else that works so well of us, and as the relationship gets stronger, my GF is becoming more beautiful.

Submitted March 03, 2020 at 07:36AM by throwawayvoid20 https://ift.tt/3cv5BZO