I can't believe I'm writing this... I'm destroyed right now. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, we live together, have two dogs together, we rent an apartment, have debt in both of our names, are planning a vacation with his mom in a few months, and a trip together as well.
He told me a few hours ago that he needed to talk, that he's frustrated because he feels has never been alone and that he's missing out, but that he loves me and loves the life we have together. He believes that he missed the opportunity to enjoy a fling he had with a girl 4 years ago (and that he recently started talking to again) because he was with me then.
He says that he doesn't know how to be alone, and that he has never experienced that. He told me that he's going to therapy because he wants to fix things, because he wants to be happy.
I am just lost. I want to run away and just don't come back. We have had the most horrible year, and we have dealt with family members deaths, surgeries and issues all over the place. He usually suffers from depression, but this is the first time he says something like this.
This girl must have been what fueled this whole messed that was already going strong. He has hidden from me that he talks to her. I always find out. They aren't sexting or seeing each other (she lives in another country), but the fact that he still doesn't get that it affects me that much is just disheartening to me.
I want to work on the relationship, after all, it has been great for almost all 6 years, we never fight, and we have great sex, but this... I just don't know how to deal with it.
I feel so lonely. I just want to run and hide in a cave, but our dog is having surgery soon, we have so many things together that a clean separation isn't possible, and well, most importantly, he says he doesn't want to break up. He wants to work on our relationship but he doesn't know how.
Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: boyfriend told me he loves me and doesn't want to break up, but that he wants to be alone and experience things
Submitted April 02, 2019 at 03:57PM by Exxxxxtremeidiot https://ift.tt/2WKDOvH
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