My [31f] husband [36m] Cheated on me, I've decided to work through it, but I am struggling so hard.

My husband, "Tom", and I have been together for 4 years, married 2, we had a baby 13 months ago, and our relatives has been strained since.

Tom was working about 2 hours from home, so we decided to move closer to work. Unfortunately, closer to work is more expensive, but we are willing to make it work.

Here we are, in a county and city where I know no one. He works all day into the night, often 7 days a week, just so we can make our bills. Since the birth of our son, I've been struggling with Postpartum desperation, and I have PTSD from the military, emotionally, I am a wreck, the rest no money for me to get out of the house, my anxiety usually keeps me in the house, I am depressed and it is getting worse and worse the longer we are here. So we decide to move to another state to be closer to my parents.

So, last Saturday when he got called out to work, I went to bed like everything was normal. Then I wake up at 1 am to my son crying his eyes out, and he wont stop. I start freaking cause Tom has the car, and my debit card, what do I do if something is wrong?? I call and call, no answer. So I find so call history and text a number I thought was his co-worker because of the frequency. After I didnt hear from anyone for 2 hours.... the baby is back asleep, I decide to look up the number and see it is this girl "Hanna" from his high school. (He had told me he got a random plumbing job at her house two weeks ago, I remember him telling me how fun it was to reconnect. I knew right then, he wasn't working, he was with her.

He finally called me, he rushed home, and we have been talking on and off about it since. I owe it to him to give him another chance (after 8 months of dating him, I almost cheated on him, and it was a big deal, but we worked it out) but this pain, the sadness. I cant believe he'd like to me, after everything we have been through. Before the baby we would occasionally swing, I'm very open with sex.... if that what he wanted, why not fucking ask me.... I'm losing my mind.... I'm so depressed I cant see straight, I am scared I'm letting my son down and I just want to disappear.

Tl;dr Husband cheated on me after knowing I've been struggling with extream mental issues, now I dont know what to do and need the dark thoughts to stop.

Submitted April 02, 2019 at 10:41AM by Cooballz https://ift.tt/2I38unP