My (27F) husband (32M) constantly accuses me of cheating. I'm losing my mind. What can I do to show I am loyal?

My husband and I have been together 6 years, 2 of them married. No children. To get this out of the way: I have never cheated or done anything that could be considered cheating.

I don't know whether I am losing my mind, or being manipulated, or gaslighted, or whatever the fuck. All I know is that I cant take it anymore and I am contemplating divorce. Apologies for the throwup of text coming your way.

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Now that we are married, he constantly accuses me of cheating when I visit with friends or go out for drinks with colleagues after work. I always either call or text him when I decide to go out to let him know. He works much later than I do, so it isnt like he is at home waiting for me. He immediately gets upset and often hangs up on me - every time. When I try to talk to him about it after, he makes it pretty clear he doesn't trust me. When I try to get more information on why he feels this way, he will then deny that he has a trust issue with me and that I am imagining it. He goes out with his friends and colleagues... but I'm not trustworthy enough to do so?

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Lately he has also taken to checking our security cameras while he is at work to see precisely what time I come home, and if I am not home within an hour of leaving work (I work 45 minutes away), I will get a call from him to see what I am up to. I am almost always getting dog food, groceries, or stuck in traffic. Fuck me, right? When I confronted him about this and how it made me feel, he said it was just to make sure I get home safe.

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We have BOTH gained quite a bit of weight since we have been together (me 60lbs and him 100lbs), and also aren't having sex. I am feeling quite unattractive, so in effort to not feel that way, I have started going to the gym and watching my diet. Obviously, he accused me of seeing someone else. When I explained to him why I was doing this, I also asked him if he still found me attractive. Instead of encouraging me or saying he found me attractive, he said NOTHING.

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Three weeks ago, I talked to him about what was going on in our relationship and how unhappy I was. Not only with the obvious trust issue that he denies he has, but the fact that we have both gained quite a bit of weight and aren't having sex. He then told me that he was furious at me for not letting him know what was going on with our relationship sooner. I explained to him that I am not the only one in this relationship and he has to have at least noticed that we aren't having sex. He cried, yes actual tears, that he has known we were going to divorce all along. I told him that I wanted to work it out.

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I thought the last few weeks after this conversation were going well. On Sunday, I used his phone for directions on Google Maps as he was driving as my phone was dead. He immediately snatched it from me and I noticed he was deleting something. I asked him what he was deleting and he said that he was embarrassed that I would find his porn history... I said that I don't care if he watches porn (we've had this conversation before). He said it was just weird porn history he was deleting that he was embarrassed about, so I let it go. After that, I bought tickets for a concert. I asked him if wanted to go with me, and he said no. I told him that was fine, that I would ask one of my girlfriends to come with me. He immediately said, "No, I'll go with you. I dont trust you going without me". I fucking lost it. He then tried to save himself by saying he "didn't mean it like that". What other possible way is there to take a statement like that?

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I honestly don't know what else I can possibly do at this point. I feel like I am losing my mind from constantly being told that I am untrustworthy when I know that I am. I feel like he wants me to stay at home and not have any kind of social life. What can I do to prove my loyalty? Should I even have to prove it? Can I do anything to help him get over this trust issue?

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TLDR - Husband constantly accuses me of cheating. I've never cheated. What can I do to prove my loyalty? Should I even have to prove it? Can I do anything to help him get over this trust issue?

Submitted April 04, 2019 at 07:28PM by disregardmonarchy http://bit.ly/2UxyX3t