Not about to make this a huge rambling of a mad woman... Well, I'll try.
I am the breadwinner in our relationship. My job is consistent money, where he works on commissioned jobs, so he doesn't have consistency, albeit when he gets paid. It seems that when he does have work and is against these project deadlines, he lets go of every ounce of responsibility he has at home. He doesn't clean, mow lawns, help with dinner or looking after our dog. Today I came home and he couldn't even fill the dog bowl with water. If I'm not working, I am happy to do these things, but I am still working the same amount of hours as him. I feel he thinks, because my job is not as physically demanding, it's a no compete.
I've always been the responsible one for paying the bills, the one who gives any of my time to develop budgets, shopping, travel plans, and family and friend commitments
If I get to boiling point and I say something, I'm overreacting. The last argument about this, he said to me that if it worried me so much (ie cleaning), then it was my problem. He doesn't see mess. He doesn't seem to think about it much. It's not in him, and not to expect it. That he was overwhelmed by the pressures I gave him about fixing things around the house.
I don't know how to approach this. I know this is 11 years in the making, of us operating this way, and much of this resentment is on me and my approach. I just fight with the thoughts of whether I'm actaully being taken advantage of, or I am overreacting. I don't want to keep telling him to think of me. Its the world of dreamer and realist, and I want to know how the heck we co-exist.
Any advice or input is greatly appreciated.
Tl;dr: feeling overwhelmed with the responsibilities in relationship, not sure if husband is being selfish or I'm being too harsh.
Submitted April 05, 2019 at 01:40AM by ShesSimplyThere http://bit.ly/2uLZF9Z
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