I [27 F] found out my boyfriend [29 M] told my best friend he didnt want to be with me when I was in the hospital getting emergency surgery.

Going to try to make this as short as humanly possible.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. My boyfriend and I had been together for 3 years prior. He was graduating law school around the time I was diagnosed which he claims led him to fail his first attempt at the bar exam.

Fast forward almost a year. I had a botched mastectomy and had an implant rip through my skin (yes...like in Alien). I had dead skin they had to cut away and I was DEVASTATED. This happened when my boyfriend was studying for the bar for the second time. When I told him I was in the hospital he freaked out. Not because he was concerned about me, but because it was ruining his chances of him passing because it was adding more stress onto him. I freaked out and called his mom crying saying how I couldnt believe how insensitive he was being. I guess she spoke with him because he ended up at the hospital a couple hours later and had a 180 personality flip. I went into surgery and came out and thought everything was fine. That was a few months ago now.

Well, my bestie was also there that night. My boyfriend recently told me he needed us to "separate." He said the stress of our relationship and my illness was too much and was "breaking him." But he ultimately wants to be with me, he loves me, etc. But he needs time to work through what hes going to do for a job, his feelings, and just a bunch of other shit. I was devastated, but couldn't really say anything to convince him to stay. He said he is going to call me on May 1st to reconnect and we can take it from there. But also told me hes going to go on dates etc...I dont understand where his head is at but it is what it is.

Today...however...my best friend told me that while I was under anesthesia my boyfriend (I guess now my ex...idk) was complaining how horrible this was for him...how he couldn't concentrate...how could he study now...that everyone expected him to be there because hes "labeled as my boyfriend" (idk what that even means) but if it were up to him we wouldnt be together and that he did not want to be in a relationship with me anyone. She just sat there in shock and in silence. The nurse came in shortly after and said I was out of surgery...and when he saw me in the hospital bed he started to cry. So she reasoned he must really care but has coping issues.....then afterwards didnt want to tell me what he said because she didnt know how and was afraid to stir the pot with everything else I was going through.

I dont know what to do now. Deep down I still love him and I was hoping to get back together, but I am so disgusted and hurt. I can't believe he said all that when I was unconscious getting EMERGENCY surgery. And made it all about himself instead.

I'm thinking of either blocking him completely or sending him a text explaining my feelings and why I can't see him again...but would that even be worth it? Would it make me feel better or worse? I'm not sure if I should just ghost and not give him the opportunity to come back...or give him the chance to explain what happened?

tldr: My [27 f] boyfriend [29 m] and I are on a break and he told me he would call me in a month...but I found out horrible info before then and now idk what to do with it.

Submitted April 04, 2019 at 09:38PM by giantmaneatingotters http://bit.ly/2VpGgHt